THURSDAY, JULY 24
10:00 COM THE GONG SHOW WITH DAVE ATTELL
A dirty, drunken update to the Chuck Barris-hosted original!
10:30 COM REALITY BITES BACK
The comedians compete in a Tila Tequila's Shot at Love parody in this very funny game show.
FRIDAY, JULY 25
10:00 VH1 BRITNEY'S SECRET CHILDHOOD
A revealing look at Britney's beginnings, and... oh, who cares about that. Tune in to see ME as the special guest Britney expert!
SATURDAY, JULY 26
8:00 ABC PETER PAN—Movie
(1953) Check out this original Disney cartoon to see if they cut out the "What Makes the Red Man Red" number!
8:00 DIS HANNAH MONTANA CONCERT IN 3D
Ahhh! Her pimples look like they're coming straight at me!
SUNDAY, JULY 27
10:00 SPIKE FACTORY
The guys borrow a baby in a pathetic effort to pick up chicks.
10:00 AMC MAD MEN
Season premiere! The Sterling Cooper advertising agency receives new office equipment... and no, the fax machine won't be invented for at least another 10 years.
MONDAY, JULY 28
9:00 DSC SURVIVING SHARKS
Diver Les Stroud puts peanut butter all over his ass in an attempt to attract sharks. You know... I think it may work!
10:00 MTV KANYE WEST HOMECOMING SPECIAL
Kanye performs hits from his new CD and yells at people on the internet.
TUESDAY, JULY 29
8:00 ABC WIPEOUT
Tonight's contestants get sent to the emergency room courtesy of the "Smoking Crowbar Sweeper."
9:00 DSC DIRTY JOBS
Shark Week continues with the Dirty Jobs crew digging around in a shark's lower intestine. Hey... that's my license plate!
WEDNESDAY, JULY 30
9:00 NBC BABY BORROWERS
Season finale! The teen couples take care of SENIOR CITIZENS. The diapers smell different now, don't they?
10:30 COM LEWIS BLACK'S ROOT OF ALL EVIL
Season premiere! An exploration into who's more evil: Ultimate Fighters or bloggers?