THURSDAY, DECEMBER 14

8:00 NBC THE OFFICE

In this hour-long episode, Michael blows his stack when there are two competing Christmas parties.

9:00 FOX THE O.C.

Yay! It's the annual Chrismukkah episode—this time starring Taylor Townsend! Santa, you answered my prayers!

FRIDAY, DECEMBER 15

9:00 SCI BATTLESTAR GALACTICA

In the last new episode before January, the Galactica gang goes mano y mano with those stinking Cylons!

SATURDAY, DECEMBER 16

8:00 CBS ELF—Movie

(2003) Will Ferrell stars as a gigantic elf in this funny holiday flick.

8:00 NBC IT'S A WONDERFUL LIFE—Movie

(1946) Jimmy Stewart suffers from wild hallucinations after accidentally ingesting some "Zuzu Petals." That shit is hardcore.

SUNDAY, DECEMBER 17

8:00 CBS SURVIVOR: COOK ISLANDS

Season Finale! The winner of the Cook Islands edition is announced (finally, we'll see which ethnicity is the best)!

10:00 VH1 CELEBRITY PARANORMAL PROJECT

Evander Holyfield, Julio Iglesias Jr., and Wee-Man from Jackass go ghost-bustin'!

MONDAY, DECEMBER 18

8:00 BRAVO INSIDE THE ACTOR'S STUDIO

Host James Lipton kisses the ass of comedian Eddie Murphy.

9:00 NBC IDENTITY

Debut! A new game show hosted by magician Penn Jillette. This is where we say, "O, how the mighty have fallen!"

TUESDAY, DECEMBER 19

8:00 FOX HOUSE

Dr. House gets shot by a disgruntled patient; no one in the world is surprised.

9:30 TVLAND WHAT'S HAPPENING!

In this classic episode, Raj, Rerun, and Doo-wayne are scolded for scalping tickets by honky guest stars, the Doobie Brothers!

WEDNESDAY, DECEMBER 20

8:00 CW AMERICA'S NEXT TOP MODEL

Check out the British version of this hilariously hokey show. It's FIERCE, luv!