THURSDAY, DECEMBER 21

8:00 ABC UGLY BETTY

Betty and gang find themselves in the soup when they accidentally leak details of the Xmas photo shoot.

9:00 FOX THE O.C.

Summer blows Ryan and Taylor's romantic getaway. Careful, or you're going to be killed off, just like Marissa!

FRIDAY, DECEMBER 22

8:00 FAM MARY POPPINS—Movie

(1964) A limey family panics when their children are kidnapped by a singing nanny/witch.

9:00 ABC 20/20

Theologists and others discuss "Heaven: Where Is It? How Do We Get There?" (And will they serve booze?)

SATURDAY, DECEMBER 23

8:00 ABC THE SOUND OF MUSIC—Movie

(1965) An Austrian governess and her kids use music to outwit some really stupid Nazis.

SUNDAY, DECEMBER 24

8:00 FAM SANTA CLAUS IS COMIN' TO TOWN

(Sing-along!) Put one foot in front of the other, and soon you'll be walkin' out the dooooooor!

8:00 TBS A CHRISTMAS STORY MARATHON—Movie

(1983) Ralphie shoots his eye out with a BB gun—for 24 hours straight!

MONDAY, DECEMBER 25

8:00 ABC PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN—Movie

(2003) Johnnie Depp plays the swishiest pirate since Long John Gaybeard.

9:00 COM BAD SANTA—Movie

(2003) Billy Bob Thornton stars as the nastiest Santa since... there hasn't been a nastier Santa.

TUESDAY, NOVEMBER 26

8:00 ABC RUDOLPH'S SHINY NEW YEAR

Extra Points: What is the name of the Baby New Year Rudolph must rescue? (a) Happy, (b) Rashy, (c) Colic-y, (d) Drooly.

WEDNESDAY, NOVEMBER 27

10:00 ABC PRIMETIME

Scientists study how humans react to horrifying situations—that's a lot of underwear washing.

10:00 MTV REAL WORLD

When Colie gets mono, the rest of the house decides it might be a good idea to take their tongues out of her mouth.