Thursday, August 10

8:00 WB POPULAR

The gang gets sent off to "sensitivity camp"--and come back bigger assholes than before!

9:00 CBS FAMILY TELEVISION AWARDS

A show that awards programs in the undeserving genre of family television, like Touched on the Swimsuit Area by an Angel.

Friday, August 11

8:00 TBS ROADHOUSE--Movie

(1989) Patrick Swayze (#10 on the Greatest Actors of All Time list) stars as a sexified bouncer/ philosopher at the dirtiest bar in the West!

9:00 FOX GUINNESS WORLD RECORDS

Some freak tries to use his earlobe as a slingshot.

Saturday, August 12

8:00 ABC MOTHER KNOWS BEST--TV Movie

(2000) A woman finds her daughter a hubby, then decides she doesn't like him anymore, and tries to chop him up with an ax.

9:30 AMC BONNIE AND CLYDE--Movie

(1967) Boy meets girl, boy and girl rob banks, boy and girl die in a hail of bullets. Isn't it romantic?

Sunday, August 13

8:00 USA LAST ONE STANDING

Fifteen contestants compete against one another to win a new SUV, while the rest of us try to resist vomiting.

10:00 ABC THE PRACTICE

Bobby is in the soup but good when former New Kid on the Block Donnie Wahlberg decides to kill him!

Monday, August 14

10:00 COM STRANGERS WITH CANDY

Jeri's pop blows his wig in this especially poignant episode entitled "Is My Daddy CRAZY?"

10:00 TV LAND ULTIMATE FAN SEARCH

The only game show on TV devoted solely to television trivia! Omigod, I've died and gone to heaven!

Tuesday, August 15

8:30 NBC SAMMY

Yet another new animated series, this one starring America's smart-assiest smartass, David Spade.

9:00 E! TRUE HOLLYWOOD STORY

Behind the scenes of the '70s' naughtiest show, Three's Company!

Wednesday, August 16

9:00 FOX AMERICAN HIGH

Augggghhh! Another reality show! And even worse, this one's about high school and it's supposed to be really good! I take it all back!