8:00 WB CHARMED
The sexy witches take on the four horsemen of the apocalypse (guest-starring singer-songwriter Paula Cole?!?).
10:00 MTV MTV CRIBS
The fancy homes of rappers Master P and Dr. Dre. Yo man, why they wanna be frontin' with their cribs? Those dogs are up in my grill!
8:00 CBS BIG BROTHER
The final episode! Tune in to see which dork will win $500,000 and a ...ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ.
8:30 WB GROSSE POINTE
In this parody of 90210, Hunter (Dylan) and Marcy (Brenda) plot to get Courtney (Donna) fired!
7:00 TBS TOP GUN--Movie
(1986) Maverick falls for Goose, Maverick accidentally kills Goose in crash, Maverick decides to date girls for a while.
8:00 SCI-FI THE INCREDIBLE HULK RETURNS--Movie
(1988) Hulk mixes it up with Thor, the god of thunder, in this sci-fi nerd-o-rama!
8:00 CBS THAT'S LIFE
Debut! Thirty-year-old Lydia DeLucca goes back to college in this latest sitcom to make fun of how quirky Italian people are.
8:00 FOX THE SEXIEST BACHELOR IN AMERICA
Studs from around America line up to show off their meat!
9:00 NBC DEADLINE
Debut! Oliver Platt stars as an investigative reporter who helps the police solve crimes. Not me, though! I hate the stinkin' cops!
9:00 ABC PRESIDENTIAL DEBATE
Debut! Two boring assholes (Bush and Gore) try to convince America they're not boring assholes. (I hope this show is canceled quickly!)
9:00 FOX DARK ANGEL
Debut! A genetically enhanced hottie fights crime and hops around post-apocalyptic America in tight pants.
9:00 NBC WEST WING
Season Premiere! The exciting conclusion to last season's cliffhanger, as the staff finds out who pumped them full of lead.