8:00 WB GILMORE GIRLS
Omigod... I love this show! (And, btw, NBC's Ed is full of crap!)
10:00 NBC E.R.
Season Premiere! Carter returns from rehab just in time for a riot in the E.R.! Whoopee!
8:30 WB GROSSE POINTE
Hunter (the Shannon Doherty character) starts stuffing her face when she gets the leading role in The Monica Lewinsky Story.
9:30 MTV FEAR
Six post-teens are invited to enter a haunted prison and "pull that bitch off!"
8:00 ABC MISS AMERICA PAGEANT
The annual salute to three all-American favorites: sexism, lip gloss, and boob jobs.
10:00 COM SOUTH PARK
In a "very special episode," Cartman makes first contact with alien life in "Cartman Gets an Anal Probe."
9:30 WB THE PJs
Thurgood has some good advice for special guest Snoop Dogg: "Snoop Doggy Dogg needs to get a jobby-job!"
10:30 FX ACTION
Sandra Bullock knocks Peter on his ass after he casually mentions she might need some mustache bleach.
8:00 CBS KING OF QUEENS
Doug makes the startling realization that he is a goddam tub of lard.
10:00 COM STRANGERS WITH CANDY
Controversy erupts when Jeri writes a derogatory word on the school's wall.
8:00 WB BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER
The life of Buffy's b-friend, Riley, is threatened thanks to some lingering effects from the Initiative. Boo-hoo-hoo!
9:00 FOX DARK ANGEL
Max winds up in the slammer, and it's up to her lesbian buddy to bust her out!
8:00 WB DAWSON'S CREEK
Pacey is in the soup (but good!) when he sails into a rip-off of the movie The Perfect Storm.