Thursday,

August 23

9:00 E! TRUE HOLLYWOOD STORY

The true-life stories of the Lewis and Martin of the bong-huffing set, Cheech and Chong!

9:30 TBS ESCAPE FROM NEW YORK--Movie

(1981) Kurt Russell stars in the greatest convict-rescues-president-from-New- York-penal-colony movie EVER!


Friday, August 24

8:00 TVLAND FREE TO BE... YOU AND ME

Don't miss this hee-larious touchy-feely classic kids' special from 1972, hosted by Marlo Thomas and Michael Jackson! Ka-BOINGG!!

9:00 WB TEEN PEOPLE'S 25 HOTTEST STARS UNDER 25

TRL grampy Carson Daley puts the spotlight on everyone's favorite celebrity jailbait.


Saturday,

August 25

8:00 ABC THE LONG KISS GOODNIGHT--Movie

(1996) Geena Davis stars as an amnesiac assassin (who happens to be HOT) who teams up with Samuel L. Jackson (who happens to be NOT).

10:00 ANIMAL CHEEKY MONKEYS

Annoying monkeys in an African village throw poop at the locals. OH! You cheeky monkeys!


Sunday, August 26

8:00 COM RUSHMORE--Movie

(1998) A student gets hot for teacher in this terrific comedy, starring Jason Schwartzman and Bill Murray!

9:00 HBO MADONNA LIVE!

Save your goddam money and catch the Drowned World Tour from Detroit on HBO.


Monday, August 27

8:00 E! TRUE HOLLYWOOD STORY

The ugly but true story behind daredevil, stuntman, and misogynist Evel Knievel.

9:00 PAX TOUCHED BY AN UNCLE

Uncle Manny comes for an extended visit, but the kids are suspicious. He sure does sweat a lot... and what's that smell?


Tuesday, August 28

8:00 UPN THE SOURCE HIP-HOP MUSIC AWARDS

Expect a quiet ceremony this year; guns are so 1999.


Wednesday, August 29

9:30 ABC THE JOB

It's a modern-day Cinderella story when the detectives are assigned to find the owner of a severed foot.