8:00 ABC A CHARLIE BROWN CHRISTMAS
Stock up on the Prozac, folks! Here comes the most depressing Christmas special EVER!
9:00 FOX GONORRHEA PENINSULA 2
Hilarity ensues when the heart of tawdry Genevieve is smashed into a billion pieces.
9:00 VH1 KRUSH GROOVE--Movie
(1985) Kurtis Blow and Sheila E. star in this all-star salute to the early stars of rap.
8:00 TNT THE MATRIX--Movie
(1999) A movie in which we are asked to believe that Keanu Reeves can believably play a kung-fu-kicking Jesus Christ.
8:00 FOX DARK ANGEL
Max rushes to save a gilled, aquatic human that sounds a hell of a lot like Aqua... no. I'm not going to say it!!
8:00 TBS THE OUTSIDERS--Movie
(1983) Practically every '80s star in existence (except Molly Ringwald) has a role in this hilariously bad Francis Ford Coppola film, in which Pony Boy attempts to remain "golden."
10:00 VH1 THE CHRIS ISAAK SHOW
In an attempt to score as much booty as humanly possible, Chris even agrees to watch Minnie Driver's diarrhetic dog.
9:00 ABC ALIAS
The boss behind the "bad" CIA discovers that Sydney is a mole (the secret-agent kind, not the dark and hairy kind).
9:30 NIK FAMILY TIES
The money-minded Alex gets his shorts shocked off after he is visited by a host of finger-wagging Christmas spirits.
9:00 WB ANGEL
When demons come after his son, Angel learns the first lesson of being a father, and yanks off his belt.
8:00 UPN BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER
Whoopee! A classic rerun, in which all the people in town lose their voices and are attacked by really creepy, icky, gross-out guys!
9:00 WB FELICITY
Felicity is trapped inside a burning art studio, and... c'mon! We're supposed to think this isn't funny??