Thursday, August 22

9:00 A&E TOOTSIE--Movie(1982)
Dustin Hoffman stars as a big dumb jerk who puts on a dress and turns into a puss.

10:00 COM SOUTH PARK
The kids rally together when the gastronomically challenged Terrance and Phillip break up.

Friday, August 23

8:00 FAM THE MUPPETS TAKE MANHATTAN--Movie(1984)
Kermit and the gang take their show to NYC, hooking up with Gregory Hines, Brooke Shields, and Liza Minnelli (back when she was perfect).

9:30 TVLAND SHAZAM!
A rare showing of the 1970s live-action version of Captain Marvel--featuring Billy Batson with a mullet.

Saturday, August 24

8:00 ABC LITTLE LEAGUE WORLD SERIES
Teams from all over the country compete to see who can be the most adorable while spitting or grabbing their crotches.

9:00 NIK THE COSBY SHOW
The Huxtables get invited by Stevie Wonder to visit his recording studio, and what do I get for all my years of loyalty? JACKSHIT.

Sunday, August 25

9:00 TNN OBLIVIOUS
A new hidden camera/game show where unsuspecting people are asked questions on the street and given money for correct answers.

10:30 COM CRANK YANKERS
| Puppets make prank phone calls, voiced by celebrities. This week's guests: Tenacious D!

Monday, August 26

9:30 HBO CURB YOUR ENTHUSIASM
It's fifteen years of therapy down the crapper when Larry goes to the beach and sees his psychiatrist in a thong.

Tuesday, August 27

9:00 FOX AMERICAN IDOL
Finally! We're down to the last three--and I'm begging you! Vote out Sideshow Bob!

9:00 HIS TORNADOES: NATURE'S DEADLY SPIRALS
You shouldn't watch this. It's just such a stupid title, I had to include it.

Wednesday, August 28

9:00 TNN RIVER'S EDGE--Movie(1986)
Drugged-out high school student shows girlfriend's dead body to apathetic friends in this '80s classic, starring Keanu Reeves and Crispin Glover!

10:30 COM CONTEST SEARCHLIGHT
Dennis Leary is a drunk asshole producer in this biting parody of HBO's Project Greenlight.