Thursday, October 3

7:00 SCI-FI RE-ANIMATOR--Movie

(1985) The classic cult horror flick about a med student who re-animates his professor's headless body.

8:00 CBS SURVIVOR: THAILAND

The castaways break out the brass (or bamboo) knuckles when tensions on the island become unbearable!

Friday, October 4

8:00 FOX FIREFLY

Mal discovers a stowaway on board, who thankfully for all the men and lesbians involved is ha-ha-HOT!

10:00 ANI PET PSYCHIC

The pet psychic attempts to help an angry camel who is in the habit of biting its master on the ass. Ingrate!!

Saturday, October 5

8:00 ABC AIR FORCE ONE--Movie

(1997) The heee-lariously patriotic tale of a President (Harrison Ford) who defeats communism by kicking terrorist (Gary Oldman) in the nuts.

9:00 E! TRUE HOLLYWOOD STORY

Though he's barely out of rehab, Andy Dick nevertheless gets his own True Hollywood Story. (And they better not forget to mention he owes me 20 bucks from college!!)

Sunday, October 6

9:00 ABC ALIAS

Sydney questions the sincerity of her spy mother, when she apologizes for shooting Syd in the tit.

9:00 CBS HELL ON HEELS: THE BATTLE OF MARY KAY--Movie

(2002) How Mary Kay made a ka-trillion dollars selling clown makeup door-to-door.

Monday, October 7

9:00 VH1 ONE-HIT WONDERS

Host Wild Bill Shatner uses his immense acting ability to dissect such novelty songs as "Disco Duck," "Fish Heads," and "Pac-Man Fever."

Tuesday, October 8

8:00 UPN BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER

When the formerly evil Willow returns home to Sunnydale, the gang treats her like a plate of day-old gravy (and rightfully so!).

9:00 WB SMALLVILLE

One of Clark's friends discovers the spaceship that brought him to earth when he was a baby. Matters are complicated when the friend then takes the spaceship for a spin around the mall.

Wednesday, October 9

9:00 WB BIRDS OF PREY

Debut! After Batman bugs out, the wheelchair bound (but still sexy) Batgirl assembles a team of hotsy-totsy crime fighters!