Thursday, October 318:00 FNC THE O'REILLY FACTORC'mon, it's Halloween! Do you wanna be scared or not?
8:00 FX HALLOWEEN--Movie(1978) In an attempt to stop those really annoying wireless calling plan commercials, a psychopath tries to kill Jamie Lee Curtis.

Friday, November 1

9:00 ABC GLADIATOR--Movie(2000) Russell Crowe stars as a three-quarters nude fighter in ancient Rome. Oh... and he's mad about something, too.

10:00 MTV TRL: 1000th EPISODEHi, my name is Wm.™ Steven, and I hope they show the one with Justin Timberlake, because I love him, and omigod omigod omigod, he's the best ever, and I love him... WHOOOO!

Saturday, November 2

8:30 FOX COPSA very special episode spotlighting naked lawbreakers-- and this time they better not "fuzz out" the juicy bits!

10:00 COM SOUTH PARKHalloween threatens to be ruined by a sudden outbreak of every child's worst nightmare: PINK EYE.

Sunday, November 3

8:00 COM CADDY SHACK--Movie(1980) With the help of a gopher, Rodney Dangerfield teaches everyone the importance of getting laid.

9:00 ABC ALIASThey screwed us last week with a repeat episode, so this week, Sydney better be extra-nude.

Monday, November 4

8:30 TVLAND HAPPY DAYSA karate expert (Tom Hanks) vows revenge on the Fonz--which I suppose he gets, because Hanks is now a multi-millionaire and Henry Winkler is a wash-out.

Tuesday, November 5

8:00 NBC FEAR FACTORThis week, contestants get dumped into a pit of 2,000 angry scorpions... while juggling goldfish bowls filled with battery acid.

8:00 UPN BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYERBuffy, Anya, and Willow fall head over heels for Dawn's new crush. Ladies, sharpen your claws!

Wednesday, November 6

9:00 NBC THE WEST WINGIt's Election Day, and will President Bartlet stay in office, or will NBC suddenly cancel one of its highest rated shows?

9:00 WB BIRDS OF PREYThe supergals are shocked when Dinah's mom turns out to be the Black Canary (Full House's Lori Loughlin). And Shemar takes off his shirt.