THURSDAY, MARCH 25 8:00 FX PORKY'S--Movie (1981) Sex, revenge, and shower peeping are the primary ingredients in this quintessential '80s teen comedy. 9:00 NBC THE APPRENTICE Donald Trump continues his humiliation of the contestants by sending them to a gambling casino.

FRIDAY, MARCH 26 8:00 FOX PLAYING IT STRAIGHT Jackie goes on an overnight camping trip with the guys. Hey Jackie, if any of the guys are dressed in Boy Scout uniforms? They're GAY! 9:00 DSC AMERICAN CHOPPER After missing their deadline, the world's most dysfunctional motorcycle-building family finally comes to blows!

SATURDAY, MARCH 27 8:00 FOX COPS Hilarity ensues when officers use a stun gun to break up a drunken bar brawl. 8:30 MTV BRITNEY'S TOP 10 VIDEOS Britney Spears introduces her fave videos--and not one including that bitch Christina Aguilera.

SUNDAY, MARCH 28 9:00 HBO THE SOPRANOS It's an old-school Mafioso turf war when Tony institutes a new rule he likes to call, "Give me your fuckin' money." 9:30 FOX ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT When Gob announces he will make the yacht magically disappear, he's less than pleased with the family's reaction.

MONDAY, MARCH 29 9:00 USA CALL ME: THE RISE AND FALL OF HEIDI FLEISS--Movie It's an old but familiar story; businesswoman gets stable of hookers, businesswoman loses stable of hookers, but businesswoman gets to hang out with Charlie Sheen.

TUESDAY, MARCH 30 10:00 FX THE SHIELD It's the Strike Team vs. the newly transferred Decoy Squad in the "Bust-a-Carjacker Olympics!" 10:00 DSC MYTHBUSTERS Jamie and Adam experiment with two very dangerous myths: attaching a jet engine to a '67 Chevy, and eating Pop Rocks while guzzling a Coke.

WEDNESDAY, MARCH 31 9:00 FOX THE O.C. It's a very Jew-licious episode, when Sandy's mom visits for Passover. 9:00 MTV I WANT A FAMOUS FACE MARATHON Three teens get plastic surgery to look like Brad Pitt, Kate Winslet, and Britney Spears. Why? Because they're crazy.