THURSDAY, FEBRUARY 17
8:00 CBS SURVIVOR: PALAU Season Premiere! Host Jeff Probst continues his systemic torture of 20 psychologically damaged castaways. 9:00 ABC MICHAEL JACKSON'S SECRET WORLD Documentary filmmaker Martin Bashir explores Jackson's alleged dalliances with wee folk.
FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 18
9:00 E! GASTINEAU GIRLS Debut! A rich mother/daughter publicist team whoop it up for the cameras in this new Simple Life rip-off. 10:00 SCI BATTLESTAR GALACTICA Baltar is falsely accused of being a traitor by a disguised Cylon. GOD! I hate those robot bastards!
SATURDAY, FEBRUARY 19
9:00 VH1 8 MILE--Movie (2002) A honky rapper fights his way to the top in this thinly veiled biography of Vanilla Ice. 10:00 FX RESCUE ME Get caught up on one of the BEST series of the season starring Dennis Leary.
SUNDAY, FEBRUARY 20
8:00 FOX THE SIMPSONS Springfield legalizes gay marriage in an effort to boost tourism! Hey, it worked for Canada! 9:00 NBC THE FIRST 5 YEARS OF SNL A look back at Saturday Night Live long before Jimmy Fallon ruined it for everybody.
MONDAY, FEBRUARY 21
9:00 FOX 24 Surprise! Audrey's ex-husband is mixed up with the terrorists. Boy, that torture room at CTU is getting a work-out!
TUESDAY, FEBRUARY 22
9:00 UPN VERONICA MARS When Veronica is tricked by a client, her high school pals step in to save the day! 9:00 CBS ONE DAY AT A TIME REUNION Bonnie Franklin, Valerie Bertinelli, and former coke-head MacKenzie Phillips snort lines for old times' sake.
WEDNESDAY, FEBRUARY 23
8:00 ABC LOST In honor of Black History Month, Michael opens up a can of racial whoop-ass on Jin. 8:30 FOX THE SIMPLE LIFE While interning for a plastic surgeon, Paris accidentally gives herself reverse liposuction.