THURSDAY, AUGUST 4
9:00 NBC THE LAW FIRM Things get kinky when the lawyers represent a dominatrix. (That's violating the penal code! HAW!!)
10:00 FX STARVED Debut! Good buzz surrounds this new sitcom about four New Yorkers with eating disorders.
10:30 FX IT'S ALWAYS SUNNY IN PHILADELPHIA Debut! I've heard next to nothing about this one. Maybe it's funny, though. (Penal code! GET IT?!?)
FRIDAY, AUGUST 5
7:00 SCIFI FIREFLY Mal and the gang rob an intergalactic train in the return of this terrific Joss Whedon space opera.
10:00 SCIFI BATTLESTAR GALACTICA Civil war is brewing after Tigh declares martial law. (MAW! Git me my squirrel rifle!)
SATURDAY, AUGUST 6
9:00 E! KILL REALITY The reality stars bitch and moan about doing a nude scene. Funny, I didn't think whores had a problem with nudity.
SUNDAY, AUGUST 7
9:00 HBO SIX FEET UNDER After Nate was shockingly killed off last week, the family gathers for the funeral.
10:00 SHOW QUEER AS FOLK Series finale! Don't miss the final episode of the most queer-tastic show ever.
MONDAY, AUGUST 8
11:30 COM TOO LATE WITH ADAM CAROLLA Debut! A new late-night gabfest starring The Man Show's resident meathead, Adam Carolla.
TUESDAY, AUGUST 9
10:00 FX RESCUE ME After his kidnapping scheme falls apart, Tommy turns to his imaginary Christ pal for help.
10:30 COM STELLA To escape the rigors of doing absolutely nothing, David, Michael, and Michael decide to go camping.
WEDNESDAY, AUGUST 10
9:00 BRAVO BATTLE OF THE NETWORK REALITY STARS Debut! Teams of reality retards battle it out for no apparent reason. Maybe one of them will break a leg?
10:00 FX OVER THERE An Iraqi prisoner is ruthlessly tortured in the feel-good show of the year!