When you try to “fix” things, you’re not validating where I’m coming from. Every person has a different life and different things that led up to why they acted how they did. Everyone has their own personal window, especially you. You can’t listen to me without throwing in your own biased viewpoint. You say what I need to do in a way that invalidates my feelings, and deep down, it tells me that I’m worthless. Because I admire and respect you. Because it’s who I am, and I can’t just change that based on your personal window of your world. Sure, you may have figured out lots of things in life, where you like to tell people how things are done. But you’re you, and I’m me. Sure, they’re smart ideas and I’ll listen to them as smart ideas. But I’m an imperfect human and I want my mistakes to be acknowledged as understandable and as human. I need to continue loving my imperfect self, because life does work for me this way. Please don’t tell me how to live life like you do, thinking that it’ll “fix” things. Just listen to me without judging me. Then you’ll fix what actually needs to be "fixed". I’d feel heard and not left alone in my feelings. I’d feel like I’m not a horrible person, but that I just make mistakes sometimes. That these mistakes don’t define who I am as a person. I can handle guilt, but shame is a scary thing to deal with. Fixing things when they don’t need to be fixed only leads to disconnection. I wish there were more men out there who actually listen with empathy.