I'm sorry that when I was hired, your career spent surfing on your phone was temporarily interrupted. Strange also that you took it personally when I asked you to contribute to the team. Yeah, I did see you live-chatting with my predecessor during our weekly meetings too. Guess that explains why she cock-blocked my access to corporate resources, which made my job impossible.
The good news (for you) is that I quit that nut-house this week, so now you can go back texting, at least until someone higher up the food chain notices and cans your ass.
One last thing - I didn't hide your work cell when you left it on your desk overnight. My boss did that. I felt bad when you were freaking out the next morning, so I reached out to my boss to confirm she took it, then went and got it from her office and gave it back to you.