"I don't care." "Um is not an answer." "Don't say the word like." "That's hearsay."

Judge Judy, you're a riot. You're the one lady on TV that's there not because you're gorgeous but because you're smart. Don't be so hard on yourself, Judy. You're kind of cute in a dye your hair, make yourself look young, granny kind of way. But what I truly love about you is how you exposes people. Most, if not all of your guests, are unemployed or on some disability. I imagine that's why they're on TV suing their brother, sister, or mother. I applaud you for showing how many people are fucking freeloaders and opportunists of the system on National TV.

The real curious subject of this show is your security guard Byrd. That guy's got a pole shoved so far up his ass and there ain't no reason for it. The attitude that badass motherfucker has, just by the way he grabs evidence papers from her guest's hand is full of arrogance. He has a true resting dick face but is like totally true to being a dick.

Long, live, and prosper Judy. Longer than Keith.