I hated the message you sent me on OkCupid. Maybe if you read this you'll remember.. it was a piece of fiction with the reader as the subject (me in this case). In the story I'm pulled over by a cop for drinking. They then violate, blackmail, and assault me. You deleted your account, but I kept the message in case you reactivated it one day. I wanted to tell you:

Your message made me feel small and unsafe. I felt pulled into your fantasy without consent. It reminded me that people don't look at others as individuals with dimension, or choice, or integrity.

Your message scared me. I wanted to have the opportunity to tell you that. I wanted to have an opportunity to have a conversation about it, as adults.

I don't care if you think I'm being sensitive. People are fucking fragile.

I guess it was a good reminder in the end. We are all influencing the lives of people we never meet, and you have choices all along the way. Your words matter.