So you been sick huh? Sniff sniff. So you're sorry you've taken so long to get back to them, eh? Sniff sniff.
As you go down your line of missed calls. Mr. Popular too, huh?
You get a hold of someone, and guess what? Sorry it's taken you so long to get back because you been sick. Sniff sniff. But yeah let's hang out, maybe Thursday. Well, if you're feeling better by then, huh? Sniff sniff.

I love how people make the most of being ill, squeezing all the attention they can get from people. I know they like it too. Certainly the attention but the being sick part too. Hey, it's fun to pretend to be sick. Hey sickie poo, instead of sniffling every god damn second, why don't you blow your god damn nose instead of sucking back up all that mucus and phlegm right into your runny nose? But wanna know something, there ain't no mucus or phlegm otherwise you would be really sick. Besides there's zero precipitation rolling down your nostril because anyone with a true runny nose is wiping that shit all over their hands, shirt, or, yes, a fucking cleanex. Plus noone wants to hear you sucking up whatever it is back into your nose. Do you drink your backwash too? Or just take a god damn cold medicine Mr. Sickie, or stop faking it!