You are so fucking smart. Once a year a group of runners leave their vans near the Hawthorne Bridge, which contain a treasure trove of stuff all for the taking. Cash, credit cards, ipads, phones, camping gear, clothes, backpacks all in one place, while their owners are nowhere to be seen cheering on their teammates like idiots, unsuspecting that you are watching, waiting, ready to pounce.
Fuck those 12 people you don’t know who have been training for months to prepare for this amazing event of endurance and teamwork. Who cares about their excitement and sense of accomplishment of racing 200 miles as a team? Something a piece of shit like you could never do.
Now, rather than finishing what they started, they must spend the weekend, cancelling credit cards, changing locks, replacing gear (some of which is irreplaceable), filing police reports and insurance claims and trying to put the pieces back together.
But you made off with a great haul of loot and are ready to do it again next year. I think I will be waiting in my van for you. Ready to pounce myself.
There is a special place in hell for assholes like you.