WTF, Portland?? Do you complain to Forever 21 for its omission of a bakery, or of New Seasons' selection of power tools, or about Home Depot's paucity of skinny jeans? No, because you understand these are different establishments. Similarly, not every bar is a restaurant, just as not every rectangle is a square. There are thousands of places to eat in this city, as there are thousands of places to drink. Plan accordingly. If you want pizza, go to a pizza place. If you want burgers, go to a burger place. If you want to drink, go to a bar. And once there, be aware no business is required to provide the specific food you want, or even food worth eating. And no, your highness, there's no table service. Also, use cash for fucksake, this is a bar.