Some thank yous to people in the snow storm.
Thank you to all the cashiers and baristas and bartenders and plow truck drivers. Thank you to the delivery drivers and Comcast crews and PGE crews. Thank you to the USPS who delivered our junk mail and to the garbage men who took it away.
Thank you to those of you who know you’re too stupid to function in the snow and therefore stayed in. Thank you to the nurses and ER staff who patched up everyone else.
Thank you to crews from Seattle for not being smug at your small brained and incapable little cousins here in Mayberry who can never think big for anything.
Thank you to TriMet workers for giving up your breaks and your backs to try to keep your fragile system running. Thank you to the Portland Police for giving up target practice to help stranded drivers and for giving rides.
Thanks for nothing to the leadership of the City of Portland and TriMet. Your paralyzed incompetence, from broken electric trains to untended streets, affected ever person in the area who couldn’t just sit at home and look out the window.
But most of all thank you to the girls: You all look adorable in your winter caps. I would sleep with any of you. I would undress you completely-including that cute cap!