The majority of people are idiots, so most likely you're an idiot too. The problem is that you might not know you're an idiot. So, here's a little guide to help you find out.
You're probably an idiot if you...
...look at your phone while driving, even at stop lights.
...can't use chopsticks.
...are under the age of twenty-six.
...take personal offense when your intelligence is questioned.
...go on to make lists of who is probably an idiot.
...think you should have something just because you want it.
...drive a Kia.
...put pet-related stickers on your Kia.
...stand in line more than four minutes for things you don't need.
...don't think you're part of the problem. This applies to more than long lines you stand in.
...voted for Trump, unless you were really just voting against Hillary. But still.
...voted for Hillary, unless it was a vote for women or a vote against Trump.
...don't know the differences between a republic and a democracy.
...think a government is a country.
...don't check your privilege.
...tip less than twenty percent. This also means you'll be terrible in bed.
...have a favorite band called the Beatles or the Rolling Stones, but really this just means you don't care much about music.
...call into talk shows.
...have ever written a Yelp review.
...read mostly young adult fiction.
...support professional sports teams, organized religion, or war.
...procreate.
...put your dog's shit in a plastic bag only to leave that bag on the ground. This is littering two ways at once.
...have a Twitter account but you're not famous.
...have a Twitter account.
...use your phone while interacting with any person or persons in your immediate surroundings.