It only took you three sentences to get to the actual gist of your letter: PARANOIA. Seek professional help immediately. There's really no need for you to carry this burden alone.

If I was at the bar and you had a panic attack about our eye contact, I'd probably laugh at you, offer to buy you a drink, and when the bartender hands it over I'd snatch it and slam it. You'd probably cry and I'd amuse myself over the petty shit people get upset over.

*laughs at fathom