This is official notice to all old people everywhere. You suck. You're slow. You're tired and worn out. You keep telling the same busted ass stories about when you were young. Bitch, when you were young, nothing exciting ever happened. You worked in a factory making lead toys for infants. People were dumb, and cars had square wheels. It took you 30 seconds to dial 911 on your rotary phone when you were trying to report a suspicious Black person who glanced at the pie you had left to cool on your window sill.

You can't drive, you cant even hear or see for fucks sake, you're always in the way, you take too long at the grocery store checkout with your stupid ziplock bag full of fucking coupons. You contribute nothing to society, but you feel entitled to complain about it incessantly. You vote like you're scared of the dark (pun intended). You've treated our worlds resources like theyre an endless cheese waterfall at old town buffet and gorged yourselves like there's no tomorrow. Trim your ear whiskers and turn up your radios for this news flash, geezers, you had too many kids, you treated most of them like shit, and now they hate you. They wish you would die. Sooner rather than later would be preferable. Before you blow through the entire SS wad buying diabetes rascals and dick pills.

No one likes you anymore, so take the hint and old yeller yourself over the yard debris bin so we can take out the trash.