YOUR ADORABLE CUDDLY CATS ARE SHITTING IN MY GARDEN BEDS!! RUINING MY NEAT ROWS OF CARROTS, RADISHES, AND LETTUCE!! DESPOILING THE FOOD THAT I WOULD LIKE TO SOMEDAY EAT!!

YOU ARE THE SAME NEIGHBORS WHO ARE SHOCKED AT THE SIGHT OF A DOG TURD IN YOUR PARKING STRIP. BUT YOUR CATS SHIT EVERYWHERE. I KNOW YOU CAN'T/WON'T DO ANYTHING TO SOLVE THE PROBLEM, SO I WON'T EVEN BRING IT UP AS WE LAUGH OVER BEERS AND NEIGHBORLY COOKOUTS. BUT I WANT ALL YOU CAT LOVERS TO REMEMBER: IF YOU HAVE AN OUTDOOR CAT, IT IS REGULARLY SHITTING IN THE FOOD BASKETS OF YOUR NEIGHBORS AND FRIENDS. THANKS, GUYS.