I'm your nice, neighborhood old guy who has trouble keeping up with you kids, but I hear you have coined a new word: phubbing. That means rudely ignoring someone by checking your smartphone. Even your child, I guess.

This morning, I looked out my kitchen window as I did the dishes and saw my young, hipster, wired neighbor taking a walk with his new toddler... completely and totally absorbed in a viral video while son repeatedly pleads "Daddy, Daddy, please look at this cute, little squirrel"!

Stop it! Just stop!

Stop ignoring your only child and put down the fucking phone before we yank it out of your thin, white bony, overeducated tattoed hands to make you be a better father.

Thank you.