Hey neighbor, yeah, you the one that lets your dog shit in all our yards. Heard you mention to the old lady how your dog's breath has begun to stink, wanna know why? Every time he leaves a pile in my yard I put melted bacon grease on it. An hour later he comes back and cleans up his own mess. Got him pretty well trained, and he seems to look forward to the visits while we video and laugh our asses off. Regarding your punk kids walking across my lawn everyday, the motion activated sprinkler will be installed next week, thinking of adding dye to the hose line.
The views expressed in these submissions are from anonymous, unverified sources and do not necessarily represent those of the Portland Mercury.