I, Anonymous Blog

The views expressed in these submissions are from anonymous, unverified sources and do not necessarily represent those of the Portland Mercury.

"I Alone Can Fix It"

"The only thing that stops a bad guy with a gun is a good guy with a gun.”-NRA’s executive vice president and CEO Wayne LaPierre.

According to the Congressional Research Service, there are roughly twice as many guns per capita in the United States as there were in 1968: more than 300 million guns in all.

Number of Mass Shootings:

2014: 273
2015: 333
2016: 383

As usual, the right-wing's math doesn't add up. There are more guns than ever in the U.S., yet mass shootings continue to happen more frequently.

Where are all these good guys with guns putting an end to all the gun violence in America?


I'm not writing a check!

I am part of a dying breed that still keeps track of debits and credits in my checkbook as I am using my debit card. It seems keeping track of what is spent and deposited is a thing of the past. Evidently people use online banking for such purposes and are not used to notating what's coming in or going out of their checking accounts. However, to me, that seems to be a practice full of pitfalls, because it's easy to overdraw an account if one doesn't know the total. Therefore, unless I quickly wave my debit card highly above my head and make a pronouncement that I am using it people automatically assume I am going to write a check. Today I forgot to quickly spout, "I am not writing a check", before this sweet young thing blinked her baby blues at me and said, "We don't take checks". It brought out the grumpies in me and I said, "But sweetheart, do you take a Mastercard? Look, this is a Mastercard, it takes the place of a check, and deary, I like to keep track of what I'm spending." Please don't assume because someone hauls out a check register they are going to write a check. Count to three and see if they start to fill out said check before saying anything. I don't assume all debits from my bank account are legit and I like to stay current. I know this is sounding petty, but this is why this blog is here. People are allowed to anonymously bitch about things and in the scheme of things it's small, but hell I'm saying it anyway.


Ain't That America?

I was raised humble, to have humility. Be thankful for money or gifts. Even try to reject it. It's there but a lot is gone. A main reason is because I moved to the mainland. Holding the door for the person behind me, I don't do anymore. Letting someone go first in a line that has less stuff than me. Stuff like that.
It's just egos, narcissism, entitlement, greed, arrogance. Everyone wants the most they can get for doing the least amount possible. To offer all I have to be taken by the ones with the least amount to give. Even people with money.
Gave a food delivery driver a $2 tip. Restaurant takes a $4 delivery fee. After he counted the money, his comment was a snarky, "Oh, 2 dollar tip, okay." Your restaurant takes $4. Take it up with them. If you aren't getting mileage reimbursed then you're an idiot. You took food from a restaurant, drove to my house, walked to the door to deliver food. Was it excruciating work? Was it heavy food? Were the roads endangering your life?
I work for tips, at times. It's the most fulfilling reward when I get it. For me, I know I earned it, even quarters. All the times I ever had food delivery, not one person counted the money, let alone complained about the tip. For cabs I give a meager $2 sometimes. I say, sorry, that's all I can afford. The drivers are still thankful I gave a tip.
You are a disgrace to the American way and workforce, reassuring me that you are like 90% of Americans. Lastly, you'd never seen an "American" picking fruits and vegetables from a farm. Never


Gun Nuts

All these people who have very unshakable and fierce stances on gun control, restrictions, regulations, what have you. I agree, not doubt, but thanks for trying, and thanks for portraying yourself in a way that isn't already super insincere.

Come on, if you have a solution, then make it so. Do it! Don't just post what you think, and what you believe, then have all out war comments about it.

"My dad is the most responsible gun owner around." "Better background checks." Better this, better that. More and more this and that. I stopped reading the second I saw the topic.

It won't matter. All it will take is one person, who shows no sign, with no history of violence, drugs, or criminal behavior, to break. Someone who will cross them, an event to crush their heart, soul, and spirit, a moment in life that sends them spiraling.
It's just like suicide.
These are fucked up times we are living in, in a fucked up city with other priorities.


Move Over? Right...

Hey Tri-Met, I'm no longer giving your drivers the benefit of the doubt. Too many times have your drivers almost ran into me while aggressively merging into traffic. I'm not talking about regular merging, I'm talking about not looking and just pulling the bus into traffic and cutting people off, sometimes almost hitting them.

See, if I were to temporarily park on a street where the speed limit is 40 (like North Lombard), I would check my mirrors before just pulling into traffic. Not you! You just yank that steering wheel and force people to swerve out of the way in order to not get hit. Most of your drivers are assholes... grumpy, disgruntled assholes.

I used to always give your drivers the right of way, but after too much aggressive, angry driving, I no longer.

And before anyone uses the excuse to pull a multi-ton bus into traffic without looking on "they drive all day and deal with customers"... well, so do I. No, I'm not a bus driver, but I drive around all day for work and deal with assholes customers on a regular basis... and I would NEVER think to put people in danger by taking out my frustration by driving recklessly. If you can't handle the stress, choose a new profession!


Cockroach Shit

For 8 years, Republicans claimed that racism was over. All the horrible things that were said about President Obama and First Lady Michelle weren't racist, it was just free speech. The Supreme Court essentially declared that racism was over in America by gutting the Voting Rights Act. If you were to bring up racism, the typical Republican response was "But we elected a black president, we can't be racist."

Enter Trump.

Like cockroaches refusing to scatter when the lights are turned on, racists came out of the woodwork. They embraced their racism and were empowered by Trump. Now, they are actually proud to be racists, proud to be white... fighting for their "heritage" and whatnot. They actually openly support Nazis and decry those opposed to fascism.

I just like to point out that during the 8 years when the Republican party declared racism was over, we all knew you were full of shit. You didn't fool anyone but your simpleminded supporters. We on the left never believed you.

Now it's out in the open, and now we see you for the sewer-dwelling cockroaches that you always were.


Forever Openers

I see that your band has kept the same strategy: Open for a musician/band from the 90s. Great way to get to the middle.
Congratulations! You are in exactly the same place you were three years ago. You know that the headliners are just humoring you, right?
Nobody is there to see your shitty band are your "friends," because they are under the incorrect impression that you can help them with their "career."
If you haven't made it by now, you never will. Your sycophantic interest in famous people gives you away as the phony you really are.


Pre-emptive

Fuck you preemptively, Tri-met. Ever since I've started wearing large headphones I seem to get ticket checked more. If it's just my imagination I post-emptively take it back. Either way, people with headphones are your best least problematic customers.


Obligations

I'd like to be a more positive person. Someone who treats people with kindness and respect. Maybe even makes their day a little better.
Most the time, I lack the ability to take care of myself. I'm sorry I haven't done more to help or that when you see me, I don't appear friendly.
I've been pretty depressed about having no money, no friends, and no life. If I didn't paint a smile on and pretend to be jovial around you, I guess I wasn't doing my job. If I tried to set a personal boundary, I guess that was me thinking I was human or something. That was rude of me and I'm sorry.
I did set up an appointment for a mental health eval last year. Shortly after, I applied for what I know now was a pyramid scheme. My roommate kicked me out because I was behind on rent. I ended up staying in a friend's shed. I did not end up keeping my mental health appointment.
I guess more important though, is that I have bills and other things I have to pay for. And I'm an asshole. It will take me a while. I can barely afford rent, gas, and food.
Oh well. Back in the machine.

Trying to stay positive


So Cool, So Portland

I saw you riding on the street downtown with your infant child strapped on. i could almost see the movie in your head about what a hip, cool, oh so Portland figure you cut. It's almost as cool as riding at night on your black bike with no lights, dressed in black head to toe. Maybe sometimes you carry your child in one of those darling little trailers which put the kid's head right about bumper high with a little flag flying- which will obviously make any traffic dissolve ahead, behind and to to the side of your route. But accidents happen, and if you can't care about what might happen to your child when someone runs into you and busts your bubble, think of yourself. Think about how, even if your child's injuries are mild, you will see them every day for the rest of your life.


Better Dick Out There

Hey dude. Glad you found the boyfriend that you think will be your eternal mate. You know, the guy all your friends dislike because he’s a self absorbed asshole? You know, the headcase who was saying he loved you within days of meeting you? Before the two of you got together, he’d cheated on his ex, and already had “deep and serious” feelings for a guy he’d known for 2 weeks that didn’t want to be his boyfriend (some people want more than just head in a relationship) of which he whined about for a week before you came into the picture. His best friend hates you because you exist and because they’re a miserable person, yet you are expected to “deal with it” because whatever that tool (that you suck) says goes, but he can’t and refuses to grant you the same respect when it comes to socializing. You’re in an abusive relationship, and you’re too blind to see it because your self esteem says you don’t deserve better than some piece of shit who’s main focus is himself. Very sad. We all believe you deserve better. He’ll get bored and cheat eventually, just you wait. To him, you are easily replaceable.


It's Not Your Private Parking Space

On Sunday all the street parking in front of my apartment was full, so I did what everyone does - I parked down the block. There was an open space 50 feet from my apartment, which happened to be in front of your house. I took it. My car was there for 2 days. You left a bitchy note claiming that I had "abandoned" my vehicle in the (public!!!) parking spot in front of your house, and that if I left it there longer you would have it towed.

News flash - I have the right to park on my own street, 50 feet from my apartment, in a public parking space. The city won't tow an obviously-not-abandoned car from a public parking space just because you want them to. It doesn't matter that it happens to be in front of your house. It's not your private parking space.

The only reason I parked there is because SOMEONE ELSE was parked in the spot that I usually use. That's how street parking works - you literally can't park anywhere without being in front of someone else's house, or taking what's probably their favorite spot. Sometimes you might have to walk a few blocks. I do it all the time and you don't see me putting bitchy notes on cars or threatening to screw people over by having their shit towed away.

Plus, you have a fucking driveway, why do you even care?


Uncomfortable

Life may never be simple or fun or good.
They may never speak my language, nor I theirs.
I'll be small and they'll always be big.
From nothing to nothing.

I am not a robot


Lesson Learned?

It’s a year later, and the folks who voted for Trump now fall into the following categories:

1. White supremacists and bigots of all types who are pleased with the way things are going and would vote for him again today.
2. Those for whom there were two legitimate criteria: Has a penis, and that penis is no browner or larger than mine. Similar to #1; would vote for him again today.
3. The ones who believed the fake news. But they wouldn’t have believed it if they weren’t a closet case #1 or #2. Would find some reason to vote for him again.
4. The ones who thought he’d deliver on his promises—drain the swamp, build the wall, repeal Obamacare—and are pissed that he hasn’t. Would vote for him again anyway because they’re really a #1 or #2.
5. The ones who thought he’d step up and act presidential—no more tweetstorms, petty bullying, or obvious narcissism—and are pissed that he hasn’t. Would vote for him again anyway because they’re really a #1 or #2.
6. The craven, venal, avaricious one-percenters—and those who aspire to be in that category—who support whoever the “free market except for corporate subsidies and Citizen’s United” candidate is. Would vote for him again today.

Since the election, he’s repeatedly pulled the moral equivalent of shooting someone in the middle of Fifth Avenue, and it hasn’t cost him any voters…exactly as he predicted.


Hiya, 2nd Amendment Festishists & "Originalists"

"I am certainly not an advocate for frequent and untried changes in laws and constitutions. I think moderate imperfections had better be borne with; because, when once known, we accommodate ourselves to them, and find practical means of correcting their ill effects. But I know also, that laws and institutions must go hand in hand with the progress of the human mind. As that becomes more developed, more enlightened, as new discoveries are made, new truths disclosed, and manners and opinions change with the change of circumstances, institutions must advance also, and keep pace with the times. We might as well require a man to wear still the coat which fitted him when a boy, as civilized society to remain ever under the regimen of their barbarous ancestors."

- Thomas Jefferson to H. Tompkinson (AKA Samuel Kercheval), July 12, 1816


Most Popular in I, Anonymous Blog