NOBODY WANTS to say it, but I will. Soccer has fucked up Portland. It's all soccer's fault.

I don't hate the game (though it does suck that it replaced the Beavers). I don't hate the real football fans. It's all the wannabe hangers-on whooooo think soccer is the shit.

It's not. Take your scarves and move to Canada or something. Oh, that's right—they hate soccer people, too. —Anonymous