Kalah Allen

TO THE HIPSTERS who scowl at me and my infant child while we grocery shop or sully the public park where you like to sit in a cloud of expensive tobacco and dwell on your self-involved melancholy; to the friends who sniff at me for preferring to stay home breastfeeding over drinking at the same bar, listening to the same conversations, numbing myself with whiskey and PBR; to all the assholes who don’t want to pay their arts tax or any other tax that funds public schools because you don’t have kids and people shouldn’t be breeding anyway: Fuck you. You are selfish and sad and seriously lacking in perspective. When you are old and sick and all alone in the world it will be someone’s grown-up baby that takes care of everything for you, from running your government and wiping your ass to performing surgery on your cold black heart.—Anonymous