Kalah Allen

CAN SOMEONE explain to me what is “weird” about Portland? Because all I see are white yuppies who play dress-up. The dog and cat “moms,” the yoga pants, the beards, the Voodoo Doughnut selfies, the hitting up every boutique to spend hundreds of dollars of mommy and daddy’s money, the sitting on a patio at yet another “unique and rustic” overpriced restaurant. Where’s the weird? White people are so bland that they have to announce to the world they’re “inventive” and “unique”—when all the while they’re just like every other spoiled, out-of-state, trust-fund adult-baby. They flock to Portland because it’s a playground where they don’t have to grow up. I’m not mad, I’m just annoyed at these people being so arrogant and spoiled. Quit telling everyone how weird you are, because you are not.—Anonymous