Kalah Allen

I HAVEN’T DATED in over a year. It’s not something I think about on a regular basis—I spend most nights watching old home movies from estate sales. It passes the time. Something this morning, though, made me realize I might have been single for too long. I have this natural “Herbal Pine” deodorant that sucks as a deodorant, but works wonders on a different part of the body. Sometimes, when I brought someone over and things were getting hot and heavy, I’d sneak into the bathroom to not only brush my teeth, but also refresh my ass. You never know when you got some stink going on down there, and assuring that there’s no ripeness is simply the courteous thing to do. Well, this morning I opened a bathroom drawer and saw the pine deodorant buried under a tissue box. I thought back to the last time I used it... the last time I NEEDED to use it... and I couldn’t remember. Perhaps it’s time to put it to use once again.—Anonymous