Kinoko Evans

By the time you read this, the polls will be closed. What was arguably the nastiest and most contentious election in the history of our country will have ended. Hopefully.

Writing this days before the election, there are a lot of things I wish I could say. I wish I could say the votes will have all been counted and that we will have a clear winner, that we have chosen who will lead our broken country for the next four years. But I lived through the 2000 election. We voted that year on November 7th, and it wasn’t until December 12th that we knew who the real winner was: George W. Bush. Bush didn’t steal the presidency, it was ultimately handed to him by the United States Supreme Court, when it halted the recounting of Florida’s votes and decided in his favor. Despite knowing how fragile and malleable our democracy is, we carried on. We even let Florida continue to vote.

Daddy’s callous psychopath at best, Cheney’s warmonger puppet at worst, George W. Bush was, by all standards, a terrible president. I wish I could say he was the worst president we ever had, but until I know that Donald Trump hasn’t been elected, I can’t say for sure. As a businessman, politician, and human being, Trump is so grossly inept and cold hearted, he makes Bush look like Rockefeller, Lincoln, and Gandhi combined. I would rather have Bush as our president again for eight more years than have Trump in office for a week.

I wish I could say I already knew Hillary Clinton had been elected our 45th, and first female, president. I voted for Hillary with no feelings of disappointment in myself, or the state of politics in this country. I wanted Hillary to win. I was with her, and was against him. To not stand against Trump was to not stand against racism, sexism, and every other evil we need to extinguish, not inflame. Hillary has had to stand against, and up to, Trump directly for months—and she did an amazing job. Hillary is tough as hell; you cannot rattle her. She’s the president we need versus the horror I hope we avoided.

I wish I could say that it’s been decided. That Hillary won in a landslide. That most of Trump’s horde are already crawling back under the filthy rock from which he freed them. They are the enemy of this country, and if they should rise against the state... well, they better get to it before inauguration day, while the nice guy is still in office. Hillary won’t take your guns away, but if you point them at her she will waste no time tamping you the fuck down.

This year brought out something terrible inside of me, inside all of us. Hate is contagious. I don’t long for our country to be united again in the true spirit of love. I don’t want our enemies to see things our way. I want them to quickly perish and suffer in a fiery hell for all eternity. 

I wish I could say I felt different.