JEFF GOLDBLUM'S PSYCHOSEXUAL POWER Pictured above.

MANDI

RE: The Bachelor Recap: Yes, We’re Doing This. It’s Time” [Blogtown, Jan 5], Campy Draper’s recap of the season premiere of The Bachelor, which featured Mandi Kremer, a 28-year-old contestant from Portland. “She ‘embraces the weird’ and she’s a dentist,” Campy wrote. “Her segment features the Unipiper and my disdain for her is total.” Campy also alleged Mandi was “a disgrace to our city. And America. And our species.” Not giving it a rest for one goddamn minute, Campy later insisted that “Mandi the PDXer” is “rude and makes us all look bad, fam.”

this @portlandmercury writer takes himself, and #TheBachelor way too seriously. Bless his poor little angry hipster heart. 😂

@MandiKremer


BUNDY LOVE

RE: “Hey Patriots! Get Your Oregon Standoff Valentines!” [Blogtown, Feb 12].

I ordered the entire set! However, upon arrival, they promptly started digging up my yard and trashed the house. Left guns all over the place. Begged for snacks and other donations. Started tearing up my neighbors’ yards and began preaching some weird distorted version of the US Constitution. Can I send them back? How do I get rid of these freeloading grifters?

Pewpew Patriots


THE ’BLUM

RE: “Jeff Goldblum’s Psychosexual Power” [Film, June 22].

What a delight to see the back half of this week’s Mercury transform into a Jeff Goldblum lovefest. I too have made it through all these years with generous helpings of the ’Blum. But I was sad to see his most amazing work omitted from your critique: [The 1980 TV series] Tenspeed and Brown Shoe. Not only did Goldblum do voiceover in his inimitable style, his character was a nerdy accountant who knew karate and dreamed of being a private dick. Awesome! Oh, and Ben Vereen was in it too.

Jim Leno


NO BIKE FOR YOU

RE: “Surprise! You Just Got a Bike” [Feature, July 20], about the Biketown bike share program.

It’s a bit misleading to imply that “most” of Portlanders now have access to bike share. If you take a look at the Biketown service area, it maps directly to the high-income zip codes. Once again, the hard-working people of modest means get shut out of a government-sponsored program. When November rolls around, I hope Portlanders remember that Commissioner [Steve] Novick chose to spend tax money on bike share instead of needed crosswalks and streetlights in East County. Those are fucked-up priorities.

cully


PARTY HARD

RE: “Out of Pocket: Portland’s Last Pay Phones” [Feature, Aug 24].

Hello, Ned Lannamann. I’m calling you about your pay phone... thing. At the very end of your article, you state that pay phones are going “the way of the telegraph and the party line.” You should maybe do some research. Party lines aren’t going anywhere. They’re still there, and they’re still strong. What you should really do if you’re gonna do a story about pay phones is a story about what’s being done with the phones that you don’t know about. There are lots and lots of little private internet networks—blind people who use the phone in a really interesting way. I enjoyed your article—kind of. Goodbye.

Anonymous voicemail


I SAW U

RE: “I Saw U,” the Mercury’s now-defunct matchmaking page.

Four and a half years ago, I went to a concert at Bunk Bar to see a band I liked, and I danced next to a pretty girl. A month later, that girl posted an “I Saw U” in the Mercury. A coworker of mine saw the post and drew my attention to it. I responded with hesitation and excitement. We had a nice date, and many more after that.

Next month, I’ll marry that girl at the Laurelhurst Club here in Portland. Just wanted to thank you folks for being an integral piece in what has become the very sweet story of how we met.

Lauren


FAIR

RE: “If You Win Saturday’s Powerball Jackpot, Here’s What You Could Buy with $800M” [Blogtown, Jan 8].

I’d buy the Mercury and shut it down.

Totalitariland


Letters and comments may be edited for space. Email us at lovenotes@portlandmercury.com.