Carrie (2013)

2013 | 99 minutes | Rated R

Besides its uniformly milquetoast cinematography, editing, and acting, I count exactly four differences between this Carrie remake and its incomparably superior predecessor: (1) Carrie's shower scene is caught on a smart phone and uploaded to YouTube because CYBERBULLYING, (2) a completely dead-end plot twist about a secondary character that's kind of a spoiler (but not even, really?), (3) telekinesis makes Carrie's nostrils flare with orgasmic euphoria because Chloë Grace Moretz can't control those fucking things and, (4) the blood looks like shit. (This final point may seem fairly inconsequential, but seriously: how are you going to remake Carrie and LET THE BLOOD LOOK LIKE SHIT?)


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Film Credits
Kimberly Peirce
Chloë Moretz, Julianne Moore, Judy Greer, Portia Doubleday, Alex Russell, Gabriella Wilde, Ansel Elgort, Barry Shabaka Henley, Karissa Strain, Samantha Weinstein, Katie Strain, Demetrius Joyette, Arlene Mazerolle, Evan Gilchrist, Jefferson Brown, Cynthia Preston