In addition to robots punching each other—and jesus christ, there are so many robots punching each other—Michael Bay's latest Transformers contains a great many things: a computer-generated JFK. John Malkovich saying stuff like "WTF to that!" Gremlin robots. Pepto-Bismol product placement. Mt. Kilimanjaro. A gremlin robot riding a dog. Helpful subtitles that let you know where the action is taking place, e.g., "The Middle East: Illegal Nuclear Site." Dr. McDreamy. Community's Ken Jeong as a Deep Throat-like informant, "Deep Wang." A Tommy Boy reference. Spurts and splashes of robot blood. (Is it made of oil? Antifreeze? Fanboy tears?) A soulful montage set to Linkin Park. John Turturro informing Frances McDormand that her "booty looks excellenté." Doddering American hero Buzz Aldrin—the real Buzz Aldrin—looking vaguely confused as he addresses the alien robo-warrior Optimus Prime. "From a fellow space traveler, it's a true honor," Aldrin says. "The honor," Optimus replies with gravelly gravitas, "is mine." by Erik Henriksen