Long ago in the annals of history--the 1600s, I believe--Tom Cruise and Cameron Diaz were pert, attractive stars of the cinema, spearheading big-budget Hollywood picture shows and charming their audiences with their clear complexions and adept skills at walking and talking. In the intervening centuries, however, both Cruise and Diaz have turned into gently defective androids laminated inside hot plastic. As for the walking and talking? They can manage, but not without inducing a wriggling feeling of discomfort in the audience--the same discomfort you might experience watching a crippled child cross a busy street, or a very expensive robot bump into a wall. by Ned Lannamann