Ahoy, mateys! Alas, our pillagin' and partyin' voyage had to come to depressin' end. Ever since the glorious year of two-aught-aught-three—when Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl hoisted her fearsome flag and sailed into theaters, delightin' all us brave buccaneers—we've had a jolly good run, savvy? Whether we be dressin' up like Johnny Depp an' affectin' his girlish mannerisms, proudly hoistin' the ol' Jolly Roger to a place a' high honor above our futons, or talkin' like pirates to all them landlubbers on Talk Like a Pirate Day, there isn't a single raider on all the Seven Seas who can't vow that we've found a way to enjoy ourselves and annoy everybody else whilst doin' it! But 'tis no longer! For though we weathered and pirated our way through those foul... whatever those other Pirates of the Caribbean sequels were called, thar can't be any doubt that this latest Pirates film be a boring piece of shit. by "Fearsome Cap'n" Greg Eisenberg (Former President of the Pacific Northwest Pirate Enthusiasts Assn.)