I Love You, Beth Cooper
"First off, I want to thank everyone for coming out today to hear my graduation speech. As you know, I'm the class valedictorian, which is a Latin word that means 'pale, awkward virgin.' Over the last four years, I've channeled my sexual frustration into high grades and extracurricular activities--but I have to admit, what I really want is to get it on with a cheerleader! I love you, Beth Cooper!" That's more or less the entire setup for I Love You, Beth Cooper, in which the pale, awkward Denis (Paul Rust) pines after Beth Cooper (Hayden Panettiere). Once Denis professes his love for Beth, his high school hurdle has been jumped, so all that's left for this grating nerd to do is have "typical high school experiences" that include--as previously seen in every movie ever--dick jokes, gross-out jokes, a house party, and nerds getting revenge.
by Jane Carlen