Boy that kooky candy maker sure does maim and kill a lot of kids, doesn't he? But you know what they always say: You can't make an omelet without breaking a few eggs, and you can't create an everlasting gobstopper without, uhh... (checks notes) drowning a child in chocolate, or burning a child alive, or transforming a child into a giant bladder to be rolled into the torture chambers beneath your factory manned by the enslaved race you employ as wage-free labor. Enjoy your boat ride to hell, you rubes. by Bobby Roberts