* Tofurky
** White Meat
*** Dark Meat
****Honey Glazed Fuckin' Ham

IKARA COLT
Chat and Business
(Epitaph)
****
Some records seethe with alley cat aggression and primitive, quickie-around-the-corner lust. Sonic Youth's Goo and Ikara Colt's Chat and Business, for example. The latter is the debut from a London act that sounds taut and steely jawed, a rigid arrangement of damaged art punk clawing its way around wiry rhythms. The tension in the songs is a goddamn tightrope that the quartet fearlessly rushes down. The vocal styles range from a chorus of commanding shouts to a more condensed detachment, where keyboardist Paul Resende embodies Thurston Moore splitting personalities with Richard Hell's dark side. This excellent record is the sneering soundtrack to anonymous urban sexuality--discordant mood swings and blackened melodies adding to the new breed of punk experimentation, where the kinks lie in the cold depths of calculated detachment. JENNIFER MAERZ

TLC
3D
(Arista)

*1/2
Rarely am I in close proximity to cable television, but recently a friend and I spent what essentially amounted to four full days in a hotel room watching MTV. We watched The Real World, The Osbournes, that weird dating show, P.Diddy's Making the Band, and an episode of Cribs starring Rasheed Wallace and Fat Joe (who LICKED HIS OWN SHOE). The only video we saw was the new, extremely meta J.LO/Ben paparazzi defense mechanism. And you know what? After all that super-quick editing, everything "on the outside" seemed to go by VERRRY SLOOOWLY. Being away from "the box" was like taking a bunch of trucker's speed and going to the librarian convention. I offer this anecdote not to embark on a predictable rant about the sorry state of TV's attention span, but to make the analogy between that state of mind and the new TLC record. Because, all LeftEyeisgonehowcantheystillbeTLC? commentary aside, the beats--are abrasive and ALL OVER THE PLACE. Not in an experimental way, but in a messy, our maje-labe-is-pressuring-us-to-finish-this-record way. I love T-Boz and Chilli as much as Swedish fish, but listening to 3D is like trying to dance after being fed the death-worm in Wrath of Khan. JULIANNE SHEPHERD

TIPSY
Remix Party!
(Asphodel)
***
Tipsy's Remix Party! is bizarre. There's no shouting or atonal attacks here, the record is calm and lite--but a unique madness produced it. Tipsy is an experimental electronic band from San Francisco, and their new CD is a collection of remixes of underground electronic music from around the world--London, Tokyo, Seattle, Zurich, Las Vegas. Some of the remixes are beautiful, others are funny, and all are bizarre collections of country, disco, electro funk, and rock. These songs should be played at a poorly attended party because they seem to celebrate that kind of failure and boredom. CHARLES MUDEDE