Henry Owings is the most feared man in music. Judging by his photo—fake mustache and all—it hardly seems possible that a mere music writer, occasional show promoter, roadie, and indie label head would be the kind of man who could generate intimidating levels of disruption in his wake... but he does. And it's brilliant. Owings runs the infallible Chunklet, a fanzine turned magazine that has brutally—and with a level of humor untouched by its peers—laid waste to all things sacred in music. Chunklet published a Billboard-esque list of the biggest assholes in rock, created the indie rock cred card (complete with a very thorough music quiz to weed out poseurs), and even put their money where their mouth is and offered cold hard cash to bands who were willing to break up. And now—in a direct affront to God, as well as the past 60 or so years of rock history—Owings has penned The Rock Bible: Unholy Scripture for Fans & Bands.

The Rock Bible is not a book about rock music; it's the book about rock music—a hilarious, list-heavy journey that deconstructs and demolishes the hallowed myths of rock culture. Presented in a fire-and-brimstone, condemning nature, The Rock Bible basks in its villainy and cruelty, all the while vying for the role as definitive guide to all things rock. This includes drummers ("All drummers wearing headset microphones should be required to take a food order."), keyboardists ("No song in the history of rock has ever required a keyboardist to drag their hands back across the keys. Ever."), singers ("Unless the song ends with 'deep in the heart of Texas,' don't engage the audience in a clap-along."), and just about everyone else involved in music—from writers to promoters to the fans themselves. No one is safe.

MERCURY: Before you wrote The Rock Bible, did you think you had to read the actual Bible?

OWINGS: Well, as a recovering Catholic—I was an altar boy my entire childhood—I read a few Bibles in my life. Down south it's a very popular thing.

With Chunklet, do you feel that you have to raise the bar with each issue as far as the criticism goes? It feels like you've entered your late-era, GG Allin status of the magazine—if you don't cut yourself and defecate onstage, then people will think you're holding back.

To be completely frank with you—and I'm not trying to sound egotistical here as much as factual—as long as no other publication comes close to us, I'm really not going to worry about it. I think most quarterly or monthly or weekly publications, just because of the mere drain of doing it, they have to phone it in. But the great thing with Chunklet is I don't really ever over-analyze what I do or how it comes out. If it's making me laugh, I'm sure it's going to make someone else laugh. So, do I think I have to take it up a notch? Not rea