HOT WATER MUSIC, THRICE(B Complex, 320 SE 2nd) Beneath the scraggly neck beards, faded tattoos, and balled-up undershirts of Hot Water Music lies one of the most incredible punk bands around today. They can be hit or miss on record, but it's their powerhouse live show that makes the band who they are. Few acts possess such an insatiable work ethic as Hot Water Music--the band has easily played over 500 shows in the last couple of years. Tonight, don't be afraid to join the macho boys in front of the stage in frenzied finger-pointing, pogoing, and other homoerotic activities that make hardcore music so much fun. CARMELO MARTINEZ

HALLOWEEN COVER BAND PARTY STARRING PSYCHO 78S, VESPERTINES AS LED ZEPPELIN (Blackbird, 3728 NE Sandy) What better thing to do on Halloween than pretend you're somebody else? And who better to pretend you are on this, the scariest of nights, than one of the scariest bands around, the Misfits? And who better to channel the Misfits' diabolically short '80s power punk odes to cannibalism, corpses, and necrophelia than the Psycho 78s--with Psychological Thrillers frontman, Brandon Clemmens (who will do his best to channel Glen Danzig's surly, "fat Elvis"-esque drone) and drummer Glen Porter. The Vespertines will be covering Led Zeppelin, and if they do even half as good a job as they did last year, covering The Cars, then you'll be sooo sorry you missed them. Justin "West Coast" Sanders

WITCH MOUNTAIN, ETERNAL ELYSIUM, THEORY OF RUIN, STOVOKOR(Ash Street, 225 SW Ash) Klingon karaoke, Klingon language, Klingon bands, Klingon board games... What's next, Klingon toilet paper? Klingon vibrators? I thought the Star Trek shit was winding down. I blame it on Lord of the Rings: Fellowship of the Ring, and its upcoming nerdy sequels. The nerds suddenly have the strength to fight back. But actually, if we're lucky, maybe we'll get to see the Stovokor Klingon nerds fight the hard rocking, tit loving, heavy metal nerds who are there to see Witch Mountain. It is Halloween after all. KATIE SHIMER

PORK TORNADO, JOHN FISHMAN(Roseland, NW 6th & Burnside) My friends and I have been trying to bring back the word "pork." It's not really working because saying it is too disgusting. Like picture yourself at one of those exclusive basement parties; you walk over to a scarf-clad group of your peers and say, "Jesus, I'm so tense, I haven't been porked in like two weeks." You're right, it's not that funny. Anyway, Pork Tornado is about as appealing as uttering that statement. Honky reggae/country/folk/crappy seaside hotel band music that sounds at times rockin' country, and at times like covers from Paul Simon's Rhythm of the Saints. KS

FRIDAY 11/1BUSDRIVER, OF MEXICAN DESCENT, ORGANICS, ANAXAGORUS, YADIRA, SMOKE, CHILDREN OF THE THORN, PECOS B, DJ WICKED(Cobalt Lounge, 32 NW 3rd; also, in store at 360 Vinyl, 214 NW Couch, 6 pm) See Music pg 15

THE SENSUALISTS, STRATEGY, FCS NORTH(Blackbird) Lite and sugary electronic pop comes in two flavors: A. so lite and sugary that you barf it up after an hour, and B. so lite and sugary, it puffs up with the satisfying flakiness of a really good pastry. Lucky for all involved, The Sensualists' specialty is B., the yummy pastry kind, with a chirpy steez that's more fun than a cruise-liner conga line at mealtime. (Well... maybe not more fun than a cruise-liner conga line at mealtime, cause there's nothing more fun than that... but equally as fun, anyway.) They have the shiny appeal of shimmery confetti on New Year's. Strategy will warm you up with some of that nasty-ass techno that gets all the freaks' butts sweaty... then FCS North will bring you down into their pretty miasma of live electronics and introspective rhythmics. Aw yeah. JULIANNE SHEPHERD

THE RESIDENTS(Crystal, 1332 W Burnside) I first discovered these anonymous art-rockers in the late 1980s, when I was briefly immersed in Captain Beefheart's similarly intoxicating weirdness. The absurd lyrics and bizarre compositions of the three "Mole Trilogy" albums paled only in comparison to the group's surreal video work (some of which is now part of the permanent collection at New York's Museum of Modern Art). Now the famous quartet of unknown performance artists and musicians behind the "giant eyeball masks" celebrate their 30th year of existence with a new album, Demons Dance Alone, a collection of gently neurotic pop tunes like "Mickey Macaroni" and "Make Me Moo." According to their press release, this show promises less video than previous tours, but more band members, increasing the likelihood of onstage collisions. This will be two nights of strange rock theater that simply cannot be missed. DAVID SLATTON

RAFFI(Keller Auditorium, SW 3rd & Clay) UHHHH....

SATURDAY 11/2DRI, A NEW SOCIETY OF ANARCHISTS, 2xNoise(Ash Street) DRI was one of the first bands to make the change from Punk to Metal. They even had an album in the late '80s called Crossover which, in my opinion, was very speed metal oriented. I am not saying it was a bad thing to change; I am just giving you, the reader, some background. I recently saw DRI at a metalfest, and they still sounded like a speed metal band, and I think that's great. They knew that they had a good thing going and decided to stick with it. I respect that in a band and want to give DRI my seal of approval. I don't know if that's worth anything, but really I don't care. CHRIS REED

ZIG ZAG PARTY, THE MIGHTY JUGGERNAUT, DJ RECKLESS, DJ GEORGE, DJ MATROK, FREEZE(Berbati's, 231 SW Ankeny) I get a lot of shit for liking mainstream R&B, hiphop, and rap. But I'm sorry, you can't tell me that Usher is selling hundreds of billions of records because he sucks. I mean really, his songs speak to a lot of people. For example: lovas, ballas, playas, Gs, homies, shortys, and white chicks that live in Portland, Oregon. Anyway, these DJs should provide a good mix of the mainstream hiphop, plus a taste of the underground, plus, if we're lucky, some break dancers will show up and show us how it's done. KS

ANDAZ, DJ ANJALI, THE INCREDIBLE KID(Fez, 316 SW 11th) DJ Anjali and his partner, The Incredible Kid, have been bringing Bhangra, the new Southeast Asian electronic music explosion, to the Portland masses for some time now. If you haven't hopped their Indian techno train for a ride straight to Groovesville, then it's about time you did, lest you be completely out of the loop. J "WC" S

THE MOVIELIFE, BRAND NEW, SALEM(Meow Meow, 520 SE Pine) Brand New has some bounce in their pop-punk bravado. Songs like "Failure By Design" and "Jude Law And A Semester Abroad" also reflect a pretty keen lyrical eye. It's typical youngster angst stuff, but it's well written, especially when they sing about the process of songwriting itself: "This is a lesson in procrastination/ I kill myself 'cause I'm so frustrated/ And every single second that I put it off/ Means another moment that I gotta race the clock." As a writer, those lines touch me deeply. J "WC" S

YOB, SLOW HORSE, AGHORI, FACE DOWN IN SHIT(Satyricon,125 NW 6th) YOB's hyper-realized doom ambience is tempered with epic arrangements, soaring vocals, and an overall approach that is as artistic as it is extreme (perhaps due to some first-hand training with Captain Beefheart's guitarist Zoot Horn Rollo). High on Fire, Burning Witch, and the Melvins now have a new accomplice in crushing fury. Slow Horse ride in from NYC with their patented melancholic approach to doom and a pretty badass reworking of Chris Isaak's "Wicked Game." Make a point to high five their main man Dan Bukszpan for sticking to his guns, and ardently preaching that Dio-era Sabbath is superior to the Osbourne original. NATHAN CARSON

SUNDAY 11/3LOVERS, THE GOOD SHIP(Blackbird) See CD Review pg 15

PORTLAND MUSIC EXPO (Holiday Inn, 8439 NE Columbia Blvd) For the tenth year in a row, the music geeks of the world take over the Holiday Inn. What is best about these CD/record conventions is that, as self-referential and inbred as Trekkies are, you will inevitably find someone geekier than yourself. Why is that good? It tells you that you haven't gone off the deep end--or, actually that you may have, but at least you're not as far gone as that other guy! Stacks of hard-to-find 45's, 12-inchs, etc, plus tables full of music magazines and posters will be on hand. PHIL BUSSE

BADLY DRAWN BOY(Aladdin, 3017 SE Milwaukie) Does this ever happen to you? You're watching TV and a car commercial comes on, and as some catchy riff plays, you think to yourself, "Hey, I like this tune. What is it? Maybe I should get the album," until you realize it's a song from a band you detest, and you remain inwardly shamed for the rest of the day. This happens to me every time I go to Barnes & Noble, where undoubtedly I'll hear some sweet-sounding singer-songwriter stuff wafting over from the deplorably suburban music section and decide to walk over and see who it is--and nine times out of 10 it's Badly Drawn Boy, and I skulk away inwardly shamed for the rest of my day. Sure, Manchester's Damon Gough can write a catchy tune, but it's nothing more than pop lite for the masses, despite his enthusiastic critical praise and numerous awards. His soundtrack for the Hugh Grant-starring adaptation of Nick Hornby's About a Boy is Gough's best work, full of musical interludes and subtle lyrical comment, but Have You Fed the Fish? finds Gough back in background-music mode, which means he'll be selling well at Barnes & Noble. Live, Gough's been known to stink up the joint with his Mancunian hooliganism and rampant jamming, so if you like him as an artist, consider leaving it at that and preserving your imagined impression. KATHLEEN WILSON

MONDAY 11/4MENOMENA, LAND CAMERA MICRO ORCHESTRA, RECALL-SEVEN(Blackbird) It's so nice when a band appeals to your cerebral side, but also gets your booty shakin'. Menomena, the Portland trio that writes their music on the computer and plays live like interpretive remixes, does just that. So check it: their drummer busts out the tight-ass hiphop beats, their bassist is funky and also dons a saxophone, their pianist/vocalist is poppy and has a pretty, sensitive boy voice that emotes, and yet edifies. This folds into a nice origami swan of uniquely written, spacious, smarty-panted rhythmic hooks and sweetly bumping, atmospheric songcraft. It's wicked solid, and while they have distant kin in a few British, electronic-based pop acts (Trembling Blue Stars, a little Hood, maybe), their instruments are all organic, and their sound isn't exactly like anyone else's I've heard. (A pretty amazing feat in itself.) JS

VANDALS, TSUNAMI BOMB, AUDIO KARATE(Roseland) Its amazing to me that all these bands that I listened to in high school (mid-80s) are still touring and playing. The Vandals are one of those bands. I haven't listened to the Vandals since then, but I still like the songs, such as "Anarchyburger" (hold the government) and "Wannabe Manor." Now that was some good classic punk rock from Southern California. These guys must be pretty old now, but I sure hope that they are still saying fuck in front of their moms and that their kids are going to school naked. If they weren't I would be very depressed. CR

TUESDAY 11/5DEERHOOF, THE PLANET THE, STEVE GIGANTE, MOMERATHS(Blackbird) Deerhoof is a confounding band whose art-punk meets J-pop instrumentation will spin messy circles in your head with a luscious elation. Their next-to-latest record, Reveille (Kill Rock Stars/5RC), is my favorite album of 2002, spilling its guts with the catchiest melodies, lines like "Bang your head to your favorite song/it's very mechanical!" and butt-bustin' guitar-drum chaos to crash the party. How does this SF quintet turn drum crashes and kooky melodies into the most pleasurable avant-pop explosion this side of the Hotel Rio? I asked; they answered.

Does Deerhoof have a mission statement?

Greg Saunier (drums): "Congratulations."

John Dieterich (guitar): "Congratulations on the Ultimate Fantasy."

Where is the special place inside yourselves that your songs come from?

Chris Cohen (guitar): That is so creepy.

Greg: Why creepy? Do your songs come from a creepy place?

Chris: Just to think that your body is creating songs from a weird cavity or something. It makes it sound like you're expelling gases instead of writing songs.

So can others go to that place?

Chris: No.

Satomi Matsui (vocals): Everything comes in except humans.

Greg: I mean no one would want to [go there] if it's expelling gases... Do you mean can people go to that special place inside themselves? Of course you can

come to ours--that's the records, right? It's like Andrew WK.

What do you like best about playing live?

Satomi: I like how it comes out differently every time... all the atmosphere there, and the audience and our feeling makes it sound different, even weather.

Greg: Weather?

Satomi: You know when it's hot it sounds different.

What's your motivation?

Satomi: We play music, that's why. Like people eat. JS

HEADPHONE, C.O.C.O.(Disjecta, 116 NE Russell) See Music pg 15

THE BREAKERS SPECIAL, DJ P, VERTIGO, GRANDMA(Fez) Straight out of the heart of Central Missouri, the one-time partner of the incomparable DJ Z-Trip, DJ P is in the hizouse. One of the more unpredictable and entertaining turntable artists out there, P moves from Neil Diamond to Pink Floyd to the Star Wars theme song faster than you can say "booty shake", and of course he infuses it all with danceliciousness. J "WC" S

WEDNESDAY 11/6DISMEMBERMENT PLAN, ENGINE DOWN, THE THERMALS(Hollywood Theater, 4122 NE Sandy) Even worse than your significant other stepping out on you, is knowing about it in advance. Worse than all that is knowing that you can't do a goddamn thing about it. I might be a damn fine boyfriend who listens when she talks, cooks her dinner, and places my jacket over puddles--but all of those things won't make me Travis Morrison of The Dismemberment Plan. The single sexiest man in indierock, Morrison is a plague to all heterosexual men, with his sexy stage swagger and Master's Degree vocabulary. He's smart, he's sexy, and he fronts one of the most inspiring indie rock bands this decade. See my problem? I don't stand a fucking chance against Morrison; but then again, I can't blame my girl for her future infidelities. If given the chance, I'd leave her for Morrison in a second. CM

LOW, PAN AMERICAN(Aladdin) Tenderly hypnotic and wistfully sentimental, Low's been capturing hearts and putting babies to sleep since their quiet revolt against grunge started in '94. Though a great deal of their anti-matter lullabies don't run high with energy, Low's unstoppable brooding is continually endearing and beautiful. So beautiful that y'might think about packing some tissues and a warm hand to hold. The vocal interplay between Alan Sparhawk and Mimi Parker (they're hitched, by the way) often climaxes in washes of hushed cathartic splendor that are as gentle as they are strong, just like your Kleenex. While some other like-minded outfits aren't always that much fun to see live, hardworking Low is a major exception. Example: two years ago, several members of the band developed a stomach flu around the Austin leg of the tour, but kept playing skillfully and enthusiastically despite mid-song trips to the offstage bucket. Seeing that kind of dedication makes it hard to come away from a Low show untouched, even if you're not the weepy type. DR. JH

BEN FOLDS, DUNCAN SHEIK(Crystal) Has Ben Folds done a damn thing since he penned that great song "Brick" back in '97? No. Why? Because he's a talented musician with mediocre songwriting ability, that's why. J "WC" S

AKIMBO, JONNY X & THE GROADIES, SPOOKY DANCE BAND, MANTONAL(Nicole's, 617 NE Fremont, 7 pm) While I have not seen them, I have heard the Spooky Dance Band described as this, "It's spooky, you know, it's like spooky dance music, yeah, like something you'd hear on Halloween, but you can dance to." Well thank god I was able to tape record this knowledgeable informant; otherwise I'd be feeling pretty damn stupid right now. Johnny X on the other hand is a band I know lots about, in fact, I would pledge marriage to them if you did that sort of thing with bands. Their songs are so short, I never get bored. Their energy is so wild, and costuming so creative, that I'm always surprised, and their incomprehensible hardcore explosions are so lovable, that they always leave me wanting more. Cosmo should be asking these guys how to make a relationship last. KS

DIY FLYER/ART SHOW(Disjecta, 116 NE Russell) See MWBW pg 13