THURSDAY 11/27

HANSON BROTHERS, MANDO DAIO, NOTE NOTAS
(Berbati's, 231 SW Ankeny) Why are the guys from Nomeansno, who made some of the most intelligent post-punk of the last two decades, still doing this joke band? Because the joke is still funny. Ten years after handcuffing Ramones style punk rock to ice hockey, they still haven't figured out which of the two ugly brutes is more ridiculous or lovable. The Hanson Brothers' newest LP, My Game (yes, a takeoff on Black Flag's My War) demonstrates just how smart you have to be to seem that stupid. ETHAN SWAN



THE RETURN OF SOUL KITCHEN STARRING BLACK ANGEL
(Dante's, 1 SW 3rd) See MWBW pg 9



FRIDAY 11/28

NEW MODEL ARMY, ANTIWORLD, STATCH & THE RAPES
(Club DV8, 5021 SE Powell) From the realm of punk rock that ends up employing more baritone voices and echoing guitars than it does snotty screaming or tinny, rushed bar chords comes New Model Army's Justin Sullivan and his hired hands--their first Portland visit in over 10 years. This time around, the lineup includes only guitars and keyboards, a two-piece act they've been showcasing at festivals in Europe all year. It'll be "all of the passionÉ just a little quieter," they claim on their website. We'll have to wait and see if the Americans go for it--volume does speak volumesÉ LANCE WALKER



ANDAZ ONE-YEAR ANNIVERSARY: DJ THE INCREDIBLE KID, ANJALI
(Fez, 316 SW 11th) See MWBW pg 9



JUCIFER, RACEBANNON, THE VOODOO ORGANIST
(Dante's) Jucifer comprises one man, one woman, and a wall of amps so oppressive they could demolish a condemned building with one well-placed riff. Racebannon are so feral and noisy I can't stop screaming their praises. (Think math punk plus turntables of white noise plus a singer rambling in a warbling voice like an asylum escapee.) A good, abrasive palate cleanser if you've been digesting bad conversation with the relatives all week. JENNIFER MAERZ



THE WEIRDOS, THE SKULLS, THE BRIEFS
(Weirdos in-store at Jackpot Downtown, 203 SW 9th, 6 pm; show at Berbati's, 9:30 pm) See Music pg 11



MORR MUSIC TOUR: MS. JOHN SODA, B. FLEISCHMAN, CHRISTIAN KLEINE, JEL
(Holocene, 1001 SE Morrison) See Music pg 11



JUST A FIRE, MADE FOR TV MOVIE, ROBOTS IN DISGUISE
(Meow Meow, 527 SE Pine) Hey, it's one of them indie darling offshoot bands: Just a Fire. Fred Erksine from June of '44 plays bass and sings, Chris Daly from Sweep the Leg Johnny plays guitar, and Scott Adamson from Son of Adam plays drums. From what I've listened to, they concoct pretty sloppy rock with screamy yet decipherable vocals, although I suspect the real thing will be better than the recording. KATIE SHIMER



LIVING COLOUR WITH TONY C. & THE TRUTH
(Roseland, NW 6th & Burnside) Unlike the Platters or the Temptations or, say, the Violent Femmes, who are trotted out now and again as revival bands at county fairs, Living Colour has retained their name but smashed the mold that made them famous. With their breakout "Cult of Personality," Living Colour became a brand name for late-'80s political rock. In many ways that overwhelming fame trapped the band, both musically and personality-wise. Just like doo-wop was groundbreaking, garnering a certain gravity for pop music and then floating away into obscurity, Living Colour was soon outdated by its predecessors--many whom they probably and ironically inspired. By the mid-'90s, Living Colour as a commodity was a stale, quaint relic from a tamer era. But a funny thing about fame is that there's usually the public image, and then there's what's happening behind the image. For the past few years, the band's founding members have returned to their stomping grounds, NYC's CBGB, and have been experimenting further with funk sounds. PHIL "CAN'T STOP THIS FEELING" BUSSE



SATURDAY 11/29

STARS OF TRACK AND FIELD, CHARMPARTICLES, TEA FOR JULIE, NORDIC
(Ohm, 31 NW 1st) Charmparticles don't want you to look at your shoes. Though it may seem the appropriate thing to do, they'd prefer you gaze towards the stars as they attempt to leave earth and travel through the galaxy in a mysterious vehicle constructed out of distortion pedals, space age synthesizers, and girl-boy vocal harmonies. Their intergalactic vehicle is powered by particles of charm. However, in the unlikely scenario that their charm supplies run low, they also have a backup tank of reverb to blast them to into space. Nordic doesn't need such a vehicle, as their music seems to be a permanent resident of a world beyond our own. KIP BERMAN



JANE SIBERRY
(Aladdin, 3017 SE Milwaukie) Like many experimental singer/ songwriters, male and female, Jane Siberry might have once kissed a girl, but she's not the one who turned her Sapphic smooch into a quirky hit song. That would be Jill Sobule. No, Siberry's spotlight moment came when her cautiously optimistic "It Can't Rain All The Time" appeared on the otherwise oppressively grim Crow soundtrack. Perhaps her haunting revenge fantasy "Mimi on the Beach" would have been a more apt contribution, but then, Siberry specializes in surprises; her former label Reprise dropped her after 1996's obtuse, jazzy effort Maria tossed one curveball too many. Among Siberry's other offbeat projects is a two-disc collection of Christmas and Hanukkah material called Child, into which she might dip to serenade the newly born shopping season. ANDREW MILLER



THE HIDDEN CAMERAS, THE DIVIDED, REBECCA PEARCY
(Nocturnal) The Hidden Cameras play what they themselves rightfully describe as "gay church music." Most of their lyrics concern homosexuality, while the instrumental flourishes (choir, organ, and even harp) would befit straight cathedral tunes. But even if you have little interest in church music of either orientation, you'll surely warm to their gently strummed and delicately sung baroque pop, on subjects as diverse as "old cum on the rug," "golden streams," and "a boy who wears eau de toilette and shaves every day and behaves well in department stores." They also mention God several times but, in all likelihood, only as a rhyme for "rod." KB



DIMMU BORGIR, NEVERMORE, CHILDREN OF BODOM, HYPOCRISY
(Roseland) Like any good Devil-worshipping act, Dimmu Borgir remains on the road during the winter holidays, heckling the God-fearing acts who spend Thanksgiving and Christmas at home or--Satan forbid--at church. Even for those who aren't followers of the Dark Prince--or Old Man's Child and Cradle of Filth, the black metal bands from which some of Dimmu Borgir's members hail--this show offers benefits. Its rib-cracking rhythms, morose classical keyboards and hearing-impairing guitar leads will instantly erase any trace of seasonal standards, and its blood-splattered, carcass-strewn lyrics demonstrate a creative method of leftover disposal. AM



QUARRY TO THE WAR, THEBEFOREPICTURE, DESPERATELY WAITING, KNIFE GIRL
(Ash Street, 225 SW Ash) Desperately Waiting's album title, Ever Busy and Ever Worse Than Useless, is too long and too self-deprecating, and could have done just fine without the word "ever." Their dark, contemplative guitar-skilled emo rock is a nice contrast, however, to Quarry to the War's volume assault. And to be clear, they're pretty good, but with song titles like, "I'll Die for You," "Til the End," and "You Never Loved Me," they seem a little too serious, except of course when it comes to the serious guitar jams. KS



GUILTY STARRING MODULE, MIKE PERKOWITZ, DJ BROKENWINDOW
(Holocene) Electro manipulator/DJ/producer/photographer/computer dude/technological renaissance artist Mike Perkowitz has been known to mix old standbys (New Order, Afrika Bambaataa, Joy Division) with his own techy mixes, turning "Blue Monday" into a minimal, tom-layered beat track and making dial-up tones pulse equally frantic and funk-tic. David Farrell is super-gully in that he runs Seattle's Tone Records, a store devoted to dance/electronic musics. As Module, Farrell's clean electro beats rattle with ominous bassy synths--it's cryptic, with a cool noisy glow. You wanna keep it moving. JULIANNE SHEPHERD



MARCH FORTH
(Holman Building, 49 SE Clay) Do not expect to see crisply shoulder-padded musicians with gold tassels demonstrating various acts of synchronicity when you head out to see March Forth. Expect to see a marching band, yes, but one of rag-tag misfits whose brand of marching music is far more eccentric than the average scholarly or military brass. In fact, this is more likely to compel you to march against fascist institutions like military and school. Well, maybe not school, but probably football. MARJORIE SKINNER



TRANS-SIBERIAN ORCHESTRA
(Rose Garden, 1401 N Wheeler) A sort of John Tesh for the buttrock set, the Trans-Siberian Orchestra fuses over-the-top electric guitar licks and standard symphonic instruments (piano, strings) to create uplifting, "edgy" renditions of classical music and Christmas songs. They call the nightmarish results "rock opera," a cleverly designed term intended to trick you into thinking there is some sort of artistic integrity at work here. But as Will Ferrell says in the film Elf--a cheesy Christmas event far more worthy of your hard-earned dollars--the Trans-Siberian Orchestra "sits on a throne of lies." JUSTIN WESCOAT SANDERS



SUNDAY 11/30

ART ALEXAKIS
(Aladdin) I think I'm supposed to write something funny about the Art-Meister, but you know, I don't really have anything funny to say. I loved Sparkle and Fade when I was in high school, and songs like "Heroin Girl," "You Make Me Feel Like A Whore," and Hell, even "Santa Monica," get my toes a-tappin' to this very day. Sure, Everclear has become increasingly uninteresting on the strength of some awful songs like "Wonderful," "A.M. Radio," and a severely misguided cover of "Brown-Eyed Girl," but it's not for lack of trying; Alexakis remains the hardest working man in show business. If anyone has literally earned the right to be heard it's him. I wouldn't want to be friends with the crazed workaholic, but I think I'll attend his show, to remember a better time, and yes, to hear some songs I actually love. JWS [arts ed. note: Justin, the reason you were supposed to write something funny about Art is because he is friends with the RIAA, and because he makes embarrassing comments about downloaders "taking money out of my kids' mouths." At the very least, if he HAS to be friends with the RIAA, he could be funny like Missy Elliott and threaten to break the legs of downloaders and bootleggers. You know? But whatevs. HAVE FUN REMINISCING AT THE SHOW, HOMIE!]



ALKALINE TRIO, REGGIE & THE FULL EFFECT, FROM AUTUMN TO ASHES, NO MOTIV
(Crystal, 1332 W Burnside) There are only a handful of "funny bands" that I like. You know the kind--the bands that write stupid funny lyrics for their stupid funny songs, really doing nothing but recording their goofiest moments in the studio. The Aquabats, for example, I love. They write songs about "Pizza Day" at school, and about how "dogs are way sweet" (woof woof!). It's silly, it's fun, and it certainly isn't something to take too seriously. Reggie & the Full Effect are another band of that nature. They definitely have their goof-off moments, but peppered among their "joke" songs about jazz hands and dwarf invasions are some truly catchy and legit pop tunes. The one time I finally saw them live, they were outrageous and entertaining, dressing up with fake mustaches and matching suits and putting more effort into making the show a spectacle than actually playing the songs well. It was fun to see, no doubt, but I don't recommend you go expecting to hear a flawless version of "Thanx for Stayin'." It's more about being up front, singing along, and not taking anything too seriously. It's all about having fun. MEGAN SELING



DJ MARANTIC: BERLIN/BOWIE NIGHT
(Tony's Tavern, 1955 W Burnside) What is life without themes? Well, it's unwieldy for one thing. That's why God sent DJ Marantic to compartmentalize our Sunday night music at the old man bar. Tonight's theme: Berlin/Bowie. While maybe not the most cohesive concept, there's little here to argue with. I mean Bowie is the Goblin King, and nobody can really step to that. The "Berlin" part can only be taken to mean that there will either be lots of hip, avant-garde music from hip, avant-garde Germany, or a ton of said group's '80s new wave tracks. Either way, cheers! MS



TWILIGHT SINGERS
(Berbati's) See Music pg 11



LEONID SMETANNIKOV
(Old Church, SW 11th & Clay, 1 pm) The Moscow Bolshoi Opera's premier baritone has been acting as a guest faculty artist at PSU. Today, for around 15 bones, he'll perform old Russian folk songs--his specialty--along with songs from Glinka and Dargomizhsky. JS



MONDAY 12/1

MOSQUITOS
(Lola's) Even thought they are named after one of the most despicable and panic-inducing creatures in the universe, the Mosquitos' Brazilian twist on idyllic indiepop immediately calls to mind being flat on your back in front of a green sea with a cocktail straw perched betwixt your lips. Mellow, sexy, and exotic, the Mosquitos show might just be the antidote if the crapass weather's already getting you down. MS



TUESDAY 12/2

GANG WIZARD, D. YELLOW SWANS, DJIN TEETH (FANGS), MR. AND
(Million) A lot of times it's hard not to be scared of experimental musicians, with their twisted faces and giant speakers, but it can be just as hard to take them seriously. While that could hurt some bands' feelings, these three groups make it an essential part of their performance. Gang Wizard might have one guy who howls like an ogre, but the rest are playing the wrong end of toy instruments. For their part, D. Yellow Swans rely on gold lamé. ES



STEVEN WRAY LOBDELL
(Voodoo Doughnut, 22 SW 3rd) Voodoo doughnuts, with their sugars and spices and Tang and marshmallows and caffeine and other various ungodly yet delicious additives, are enough to send one into some sort of higher-consciousness, transcendent coma (but not a real coma, since the haters running the FDA outlawed their medicinal doughnuts). They turn you into a Buddhist monk, body preserved from a combination of intense concentration and butterscotch crème. Not one bit inappropriately, guitarist Steven Wray Lobdell (of Davis Redford Triad, Faust) sermonizes the church of doughnut tonight, with effortless transitions from ambient, pretty guitar improv to screaming loops of sonic abrasion. Jack up that insulin! JS



WEDNESDAY 12/3

MARK WOOLLEY'S 10-YEAR ANNIVERSARY STARRING DJ HERMANITO, DJ P-DISCO
(Holocene) Mark Woolley Gallery is definitely one of the best, most consistent art galleries in Portland--and in a city where establishments have the approximate life span of fruit flies, it says a lot for Woolley's taste and quality that they've been around for 10 years. For the party, DJ Hermanito and DJ P-Disco will spin from their own nice collection of electronic dance-pop, rare disco, and funk. JS

ACEYALONE LISTENING PARTY

(Berbati's) At press time, the Rosetta Stone for deciphering what will actually occur at the Aceyalone Listening Party was MIA; rather, a small woman wearing a cape and a riding crop left the following message in the Mercury What the Hell is Going on Events Line: "All I know is that we're gonna listen to the new music, and Cleveland Steamers and Madgesdiq are probably gonna play, along with this guy named Elliott whose moniker I do not know, and some other peeps. I'll try to get more info right this minute." Just as the Mercury Oompa-Loompas were about to take the paper away to the candy factory, a wonderful fellow named Elliott called and saved the day. Performing: Cleveland Steamers (featuring Mic Crenshaw and Gen.Erik), the Villagelliott (formerly MC Squared), and Battleship Records' Andy Capp and Parma John. In between sets, Aceyalone's new record Love & Hate, will be playing--a primer for when Acey himself makes it up to the Northwest next month. See, if you are patient, magical things will happen! JS



POP, LOCK AND BOWL: BROKAW, THE PLAYERS, THE INCREDIBLE KID, DJ VOID
(Grand Central Bowl, 808 SE Morrison, 10 pm) So the gist is, if there's a fire, you should get your crazy legs in gear, your frosty freeze in motion, and smother the mother with a bowling ball. Figuratively, of course. Tonight, the fire's coming from the electro/rapping duo Brokaw, from the underground hiphop disco plate collector The Incredible Kid, from the plastic that melts when Monsieur Void puts his finger on the record for the scratch, like flint. JS



SABER TOOTH TIGER, THE MOTIVE, AMONGST US
(Twilight) The Motive don't play songs as much as they create jagged, instrumental soundscapes. The blistering guitar/bass/drum trio's music surrounds you like a cloud of bees. It's good, though, just busy and buzzing, and a little bit scary. JWS



OPEN MIC FREESTYLE CYPHER W/DJ IZM
(Backspace, 115 NW 5th, 4:30 pm-8:30 pm, $2 donation) Need to tickle your tonsils? Wax poetics at one of P-town's newest freestyle cyphers, which will have you if you're freestyling, battling, writing, tired, poor, weary, huddled together yearning to breathe free--but you're being a dick and tagging the venue and stuff, you can get on your bike and hightail it back home, son. JS