THURSDAY 1/1

ANBOT RODROID, THE MOTIVE, DARK SKIES
(Berbati's, 231 SE Ankeny) Horror movie villains usually have at least one demonic power in common: the ability to open the gates of hell and summon the terrifying orchestra of the damned (The Necropolitan Klllharmonic). These accursed souls are forever doomed/contractually obligated to add a terrifying atonal accompaniment to almost all cinematic depictions of pursuit involving a demonic creature. The Motive, though in no way demonic themselves, do a frighteningly good job of channeling the tension and terror of dissonant sound into a complex, razor sharp sonic assault. Is it prog? Is it metal? Is it RIGHT BEHIND YOU? KIP BERMAN



I CAN LICK ANY SON OF A BITCH IN THE HOUSE, THE STELLAS, ROTTEN APPLES
(Dante's, 1 SW 3rd) It's a pretty punk party at Dante's with Seattle's group of hot hot hottersons The Rotten Apples. With ex-members of the Pin-ups and the Amazombies, the lady Apples mix soul and new wave into their rockin' tracks for a sound that's fingerlickin' good. I Can Lick Any Son of a Bitch in the House's Mike Damron is a little bigger and a little hairier, and arguably not even punk, but it's safe to say he's also pretty. JUSTIN WESCOAT SANDERS



PORTLAND ORGANIC WRESTLING WITH ELVIS "THE HULK"
(Ash Street, 225 SW Ash) I always wonder if someday a long lost daughter or cousin of Elvis is going to come out of the woodwork and be absolutely appalled with the town fool status of their blood relation. Ah well, what else are you going to do with an aging eccentric/musician/Elvis impersonator/performance artist, but trot him out every once in a while for fun? He likes it. Chaos will reign yet again tonight, with the bawdy P.O.W.'s apocalyptic wrestling theatre. And, of course, our fine friend Elvis will be making a special appearance, trying on a different hat: that of the Incredible Hulk. Oh dear Lord, we are all going to hell. MARJORIE SKINNER



FRIDAY 1/2

DEAD MOON, THE NIGHTMARES, THE HIGH AND MIGHTY
(Berbati's) It is a testament to a band's worth when you Google their name and get page after page of just them. With words as vague and omnipresent as "Dead" and "Moon," it seems like you'd find websites hosting everything from astronaut obituaries to Wicca crap. Nope, it's all about those Clackamas County kidz. (Older kids; they've been at it for a while.) Live, Dead Moon is drunked-up, reckless, and AC/DC-recalling. On CD, they're just about the same. Don't believe me? Google that shit, dude. It's our g-g-generation's Encyclopedia Britannica. ADAM GNADE See Also Film pg 29



THRONES, WRANGLER BRUTES, FIERY CUBIST, SOMETHING MUST BREAK
(Meow Meow, 320 SE 2nd) See Music pg 15



VICTORIA CORRIGAN
(Blue Monk) Remember Steve Miller's "Abracadabra"? Goofy disco-funk guitar, relentlessly silly lyrics, profoundly embarrassing video? Well, thanks to Portland crooner Victoria Corrigan's CD Twelve O'Clock Moon, it's now an enchanting torch-jazz tune. Not since the Geto Boys reworked "Gangster of Love" into an unbelievably offensive ode to everything obscene has an artist so thoroughly shaken the space cowboy's tree. Corrigan fares equally well with traditional fare, especially on her buttery bossa nova remake of Cole Porter's "You'd Be So Nice to Come Home To," and her own songwriting efforts, such as the slinky title track, hold up nicely next to the surrounding standards. ANDREW MILLER



AXES OF EVIL, USS HORSEWHIP, FREELANCE TERRORISTS, AMONGST US
(Twilight, 1420 SE Powell) In a different world, the name "Axes of Evil" would be a cheeky math joke and "Freelance Terrorists" would be a street gang of editors sending extra-mean rejection letters. And yet, we are mired in the language of G.W. Bush, tender rabbits caught in a marsh of buzzwords for destruction. Well, here's the news, Maverick: this is the sound of the rabbits fighting back. Axes of Evil is, in fact, not a cheeky guitar joke, but a bona fide, thrashy, politically minded punkcore quartet. USS Horsewhip are a great, spry, punky rock band from Bellingham whose only gimmick is honest aplomb and killer, throaty-screamed vox, AKA not a gimmick. JULIANNE SHEPHERD



COACHWHIPS
(Million, 116 NE Russell) When I was 15, my friends and I would discuss the best way to dress for a Gwar concert, keeping in mind all the blood, guts, and moshing they would have to sustain. I never saw Gwar, but it was an important lesson in preparing for the Coachwhips. Not for fake brains or a stranger's hard elbows, but for the crashing hips and dirty sweat of a room full of people. For hot wet hands at my neck and full beers thrown joyfully into the air. For rock and roll played so furiously and carelessly that fans forget their names, the people they came with, and work the next morning. ETHAN SWAN



SLEEPYTIME GORILLA MUSEUM, DREDG, FAUN FABLES, MALIBU FALCON
(Nocturnal, 1800 E Burnside) Most bands try to explain themselves to listeners, desperately hoping to make a connection. But there is a different type, which just speaks its own language and doesn't seem to care whether or not you understand it. The Residents are the classic model, while Sleepytime Gorilla Museum are today's best example. The first three or four songs you hear by SGM might feel like some alien challenge, but worth it for the moment when you forget your own language and begin to appreciate theirs. And when it's all over, you'll wander out, an alien yourself, describing homemade instruments with words that no one else understands. ES



PLAYING ENEMY, CLEARMOTIVE, SHAMELADY
(Tonic, 3100 NE Sandy) Look out, dudes, because Playing Enemy have so much energy and enthusiasm that they've been known to, er, sort of take out the kids rockin' in the first row. It's all in good fun, but just consider how much fun losing an eye or something might actually be. Unfortunately, Shamelady is no lady, but a few dudes whose pretty thrashing should have you well prepped for the rest of the evening's onslaught. MS



PORTLAND ROUNDUP: JACKSTRAW, SAM HILL, HIGHER GROUND & MISTY RIVER, LITTLE JOE, FLAT MOUNTAIN GIRLS, CROSS-EYED ROSIE, MARK LEMHOUSE & THE LONESOME PLAYBOYS
(Crystal, 1332 W Burnside) Tonight the old wood floors of the Crystal will be swaying up and down like your mamma's bed the night you were conceived. That's right, it's the third annual Portland Roundup, a cornucopia of blazing bluegrass bands! JWS



SATURDAY 1/3

ATLAS: DJ TOMAS AKA DOUBLE IDENTITY, ANJALI, E3 & THE INCREDIBLE KID
(Holocene, 1001 SE Morrison) XLR8R is, without much argument, the premier electronic music mag in the states. DJ Tomas Palermo is the editor-in-chief, so you might expect him to fill his record bag with a democratic selection of tracks, the full spread from glitch to garage. Instead, he fills out his current Top 10 with the broken-beat/Latin/nujazz side of things, with new and white label highlights by mainstays like Seiji (from Bugz in the Attic), Ubiquity's John Beltran and seminal West London duo 4Hero. Holocene's new Atlas party is the backdrop, which is now a bi-weekly dose of international flavor brought to you by some of Portland's respective dub and bhangra vets. ELLIOTT ADAMS



PUPPET KING, BURNING IN WATER, RED EYE RHAPSODY
(Conan's, 3862 SE Hawthorne) "Tom Sawyer"? Check. "Spirit of Radio"? Yep. The Puppet King, one of Portland's Rush cover bands, WILL indeed be playing the hits. However, due to their intense love and respect for the band (which is detailed on their website,

www.puppetking.com ), they will also perform less obvious choices, closely mirroring the songs Rush played on the Moving Pictures tour. JS



WESTSIDE CONNECTION: ICE CUBE, WC & MACK 10, KNOC-TURN'AL, COOL NUTZ & MANIAC LOK, DJ CHILL
(Crystal) As rap music continues its downward slide towards palatable commercialization, one question remains: Who's gonna represent Inglewood? Pulling gangsta rap off life support is Westside Connection; a veritable supergroup of O.G.s that have no other choice but to represent. Comprised of Ice Cube, Mack 10, and WC (of WC & the Madd Circle), these rap grampies may be getting up in years, but they are still hard as hell. Currently making the radio rounds is their single "Gangsta Nation" that makes the case for walking the walk and talking the talk, with vocal backing from smooth brotha Nate Dogg. In a game where the players are getting softer by the second, it's nice to know the ballers still know how to make it bang. WM. STEVEN HUMPHREY



DISCO D
(Level, 13 NW 6th) Ass 'n' titties, bass 'n' booty: Disco D is back with his monthly installment of Booty Bar, Portland style. Expect a selection of ghettotech classics, booty bass, dirty rap, and filthy mouths. JS



SUNDAY 1/4

DJ SNEAKERS, DJ PAPERCUTS, LIGHTHEADED, SOUL PLASMA
(Ash St) Guesting on this month's showcase with regulars DJ Papercuts, DJ Sneakers, and Destro is Soul Plasma. As you might guess from the name, this is soulful, laidback hiphop, but there's a twist: Christianity. That's right, there's a message embedded in the earnest lyrics and smooth rhythms, but it's not really that overt, and it fairly kicks ass, as even pagans and heathens can appreciate. Adding to the theme of warm positivity is LightHeaded, who are also on a spiritual mission, as well as determined to make music that is pleasant to the ears. MS



THE OBSERVERS, THE CLOROX GIRLS, THE MINDS
(Twilight) The tambourine-friendly Clorox Girls get choppy West Coast punk one kind of right, copping a teenager-style dissatisfaction in the lyrics and purposely sloppy vocals, throwing in yummy bubblegummy hooks you could gnash to pieces, and slathering it up with unhinged guitars to make you think the devil's in the garage. A great show, this. JS



BREAKFAST OF CHAMPIONS STARRING DJS ROB UPTIGHT, RAFA
(Holocene, 1 pm) The premise of Tutenstein, a cartoon on Discovery Kids: a petulant, pre-pubescent pharaoh (King Tut) comes back to life after a lightning bolt strikes his sarcophagus. His speaking cat is also reanimated. They befriend Cleo, a 10-year-old living girl, and have many adventures thanks to Tut's self-important motivations, such as saving the Sun God Ra from the evil Set, who wishes to plunge humanity into perpetual darkness. While the show's mythological accuracy is iffy, watching a recent episode of Tutenstein was a reminder that Saturday morning cartoons are an important staple of the youthful spirit. The Breakfast of Champions fellows also know this to be true, as they'll be screening their own cartoons, serving Pop Tarts, and having a mid-afternoon Sunday dance party courtesy of Rob Uptight. Second grade was pretty badass, all things considered. JS



HIMSA, 3 INCHES OF BLOOD, TO SEE YOU BROKEN, BERZERK
(Meow Meow) It's Metal Night at the Meow Meow, with the fun, death-obsessed Himsa who, despite their growling and power chords, can't help sounding like they're just about the happiest durn metal band you could ever hope to meet. Not very scary. Helping them out are Three Inches Of Blood from Vancouver, whose motto is "Let Metal Be Your Master," which doesn't technically make much sense, but it's funny. MS



MU MESON
(Berbati's) Reminding us of how little the Moog is actually used these days in pop music, and making good with it besides, Mu Meson opt out of the standard "Moog representational of outer space" route and simply pitch-shift their way to gossamer effect. Their eclectic rock songs land somewhere between pop-radio palatable and highly creative, hence the numerous accusations of Radioheadity. Take, for instance, "Girl," off their 2002 EP: the track begins with handclaps and a scream, progresses into simple, overdriven chunks of guitar melody, with the boy vocalist intoning in a pleasant, chiffon-like, yet gritty falsetto. For the bridge: gigantic, Van Halen-reminiscent, arena-rock guitar solos, during which you can see the wind send ripples through their perfectly feathered hair. Then back to the pop music; it goes on like that. JS



MONDAY 1/5 "You say you want me just last Saturday

Now it's Monday--you don't want to play

Why are you making this bleeding, crummy day blue?

Oh, baby. You're making Monday blue."



JOHNNY CONNOLLY
(Moon & Sixpence) Johnny came to the US from Ireland, where he started playing the accordion basically as soon as he was big enough to hold it without falling backwards onto his head. This would account for his widely recognized technical proficiency. Many people find the instrument to be one of the least pleasant sounds to be subjected too, and it truly is an acquired taste. That said, Connolly plays the button accordion, which is petite, more humble and less wheezy than its big brothers. On Sunday nights, you can grab yourself a pint and chill in a casual setting while Connolly (who, trust me, is fun to watch) bangs around with his friends, playing mostly traditional, Celtic, cheerful folk tunes. So authentic. MS



TUESDAY 1/6

SMOKE, DESTRO, THE CHOSEN, ANAXAGOROUS, D.O.S.
(Ash Street) The weekly Oldominion Thorn City Improv continues with a selection of the Pacific Northwest's best lyricists, and affiliates, producers, and live hiphop. For more on Oldominion, see Music, pg 15.



WEDNESDAY 1/7

RECLINERLAND, NORDIC, JOHN VECCHIARELLI
(Berbati's) John Vecchiarelli has been kicking around Portland for a while now, though you don't hear all that much about him. He's a great songwriter, though, with beautiful lyrics and interesting, folky melodies. His vocal delivery is one of the thousands that graduated from the School of Nick Drake, but damn, I mean, Nick Drake was pretty frickin' awesome. Know what I'm saying? JWS

New Releases, Week of Jan 7: Casino Vs. Japan, Glen Branca, Kid606, Tagaki Masakatsu, Theoretical Girls, Paperchase, Books Lie, Delia Gonzalez and Gavin Russom, King Cobra, LCD Soundsystem, Metal Urbain*, MTX, Necronomitron, The Fire Theft, The Pale, Transistor Transistor/Wolves, Tussle, Volcano, I'm Still Excited * = totally stoked, but I'm broke