THURSDAY 5/13

BOD MOD BALL STARRING THE VOLUMES, COUGAR
(Ash Street, 225 SW Ash) You could rent a movie tonight, and maybe make some veggie lasagna. ORÉ you could watch people mutilate themselves for fun, right in front of you!! The choice is clear, depending on who you are. If you'd consider attending such spectacle, then you can probably stand some loud rock 'n' roll. But be serious about it, because the Volumes are. And if you're unprepared, you might get blown out the back window of the establishment by the gale storm of their punky, soulful, and commanding enthusiasm. MARJORIE SKINNER



PORTLAND VS. SEATTLE LAPTOP BATTLE: BLLIX, RRINE, DIZZYSTARHOUSE, WATERDOG, PHIBEROPTIX, DECEPTICON, SHIZZLE, COSMOS, KRIS MOON, UMAMI, REDJEFF, SPORADIK, NTH808, KFO, ABSOLUTE MADMAN, SYZYGY
(Holocene, 1001 SE Morrison) There's something really heartwarming about these nerd-o-rrific laptop throwdowns. In an age that gave birth to things like Friendster "de-testimonials," computers are becoming more social, making them the perfect battleground for revenge-of-the-nerd wars. Besides, history has proven time and again that nerds are just people ahead of their times. Tonight's battle has extra drama, with the home team underdogs defending the crown of nerd-dom on their own turf. Plus, rumor has it that the laptop warriors from Seattle are better looking. Sheesh, get ready for the fur to fly. MS See MWBW pg 15



EEK-A-MOUSE
(Dante's, 1 SW 3rd) With his peak now in the distant past (the early '80s), it is impressive that toaster Eek-A-Mouse is still around and drawing crowds to his shows. Nevertheless, it's hard to believe that anything that he has produced recently could improve upon "Wa-Do-Dem" (What Do Them), which was released in 1981. Backed by the greatest band on earth, Roots Radics, dubbed by King Tubby's genius disciple, Scientist, "Wa-Do-Dem" is roots reggae's most enchanted prayer to female virginity. It's not that Eek-A-Mouse wants to deprive the beautiful girl of her virginity in the song. Instead, he marvels at her virginity, throwing his fallen, meek body before the feet of its angelic perfection. CHARLES MUDEDE



MR. AIRPLANE MAN, THE HUNCHES, CHAMPION, DJ HIGHWAY 7
(I.C. Mummy, 332 NE San Rafael) Mr. Airplane Man are a Boston two-piece who play slinky garage blues, with guitar distortion at times so heavy it nearly blows out your midsection, and at other times keeping the melodies on a leash as delicate as a diamond tennis bracelet. Named after a Howlin' Wolf song, the band blends dreamy '60s girl-group pop with greasy blues, as singer Margaret Garrett's sleepy vocals saunter in like she's been cast in an old Western as a diva quieting a rowdy cowboy bar. The band is touring on the release of their latest disc, C'mon DJ (Sympathy for the Record Industry). JENNIFER MAERZ



AVENGED SEVENFOLD, MY CHEMICAL ROMANCE, NOISE RATCHET, MOMENTS IN GRACE
(Nocturnal, 1800 E Burnside) See Music pg 17



PEACHES, DANCE DISASTER MOVEMENT
(Roseland, 8 NW 6th) I have nothing against Jewish Canadian women waXXXing pornographic on the mic; in fact, I strongly advocate it. But I do demand some imagination with my smut. And Peaches lacked that precious commodity on her last album, Fatherfucker (the creativity peaks with that title). Her 2000 debut album, The Teaches of Peaches , introduced some refreshingly tangy, estrogenic raunchiness to electro. On Fatherfucker, Peaches has unwisely decided to write rock songs as unruly as her bush, and her sneering, alpha-bitch shtick has worn thinner than her pink hot pants. This kind of pain you can't fuck away. DAVID SEGAL



FRIDAY 5/14

DON CABALLERO, POINT LINE PLANE
(Dante's, 1 SW 3rd) Don Caballero, that miracle band of the instrumental finger-tapping and guitar headgear-strapping, have long been objects of hushed silence for math-rock heads (and non). All every second-rate math-rock band has ever wanted to be was Don Cab--probably more so than King Crimson and Yes, even--American boys through and through, Don Cab were all of the technicality with none of the British pretense. (What math rock boys want to rent a studio cow to mimic their idols?) This new Don Cab, though, features only original drumming juggernaut Damon Che, a man as notorious for his talent as his piss and vinegar (and pantsless performances). Fleshing out the melodies are members of Pittsburgh-based metal band Creta Bourzia. JS



NIGHT OWL RECORD SHOW KICK-OFF
(Fez, 316 SW 11th) See Music pg 19



ANATOMY OF A GHOST, LIGHT UP ATLANTA, THE SCHOOL PLAY, PAINT BY NUMBERS
(Tonic, 3100 NE Sandy) It seems Anatomy of a Ghost has gone "tits up" due to differences among the band members, so you'll have to be satisfied by Light Up Atlanta, a Vancouver emo band chock full of painful wails, guitar crescendos, and cymbal crashes. Au revoir, Anatomy of a Ghost. KATIE SHIMER



MIDTOWN, ARMOR FOR SLEEP, YOUR ENEMIES FRIENDS, LANCES HERO
(Aladdin, 3017 SE Milwaukie) Since the release of last year's raw EP The Wiretap, Your Enemies Friends' debut LP, You Are Being Videotaped, filters nagging melodies through a waspish attack and varied song structures. Ronnie Washburn and Allen Watke's distorted guitars combine with Dana James' heavy-duty bass and Luis-Carlos Contreas' relentless pummeling to create a thick, grungy sound that would be redolent of vintage Nirvana, were it not for guest keyboardist Curtis Mathewson. His fizzy textures and taunting hooks leaven the grime and counterpoint the group's vocals--a male/female blend dominated by Washburn's ripped-throat anguish, with lively support from James. MANISH AGERWAL



NUDGE, NICE NICE, SUPER UNITY, NOGGIN, SHARON CHESLOW & YASI PEREZ, YELLOW SWANS
(Nocturnal, 1800 E Burnside) See Music pg 17



SATURDAY 5/15

THE CLUMSY LOVERS & WALTER SALAS HUMARA
(Aladdin, 3017 SE Milwaukie) The Clumsy Lovers cuddle up to Ex-Silos member Walter Salas Humara, who boasts an avuncular connection to Portland's own The Planet The. Rumor has it that the show is going to degrade into a rowdy, incestuous talk-show spectacle. EVAN JAMES



TARENTEL, GRAILS, STEVE VON TILL
(Berbati's, 231 SW Ankeny) There's a chill that sticks to singer Steve Von Till's music, whether it's the blustery, despondent gale howling through his work with Bay Area ambient progressive-metalheads Neurosis (and their more experimental offshoot, Tribes of Neurot) or the quiet winds leaking through the cracks of his whispery solo releases. Either way, his voice has a certain dampness, a sense of tear-dried resolve that clings, as Von Till traverses his spiritual terrain, like a soaked second skin. The ache is much more pronounced--and the terrain corralled into broom-closet-sized spaces with trap doors--when you take away the gargantuan backing of his more heavily atmospheric acts and give Von Till a single instrument. Heady material for sure, but for emotionally steamrolling times, when the prevailing mood is that of being crushed by the gravity of dark forces around you, Steve Von Till provides the delicate soundtrack. JM



OBLIVION SEEKERS, 8 FT TENDER, THE NIGHTMARES
(Twilight, 1420 SE Powell) A little bit reminiscent of the Cramps, the Oblivion Seekers fuse a rockabilly foundation with harder energy and a theatrical, tremble-throated singer. Cheesecake female vocals complete the campy ghoul movie effect. The Nightmares feature Genny Genocide of the now-defunct Viles. She's always a kick, with insane outfits and whiskey dribbling down her chin. She's like the chemically damaged love child of Wendy O and Lemmy, and I've been a fan since day one. MS



MINUS THE BEAR, SWORDS PROJECT, SMOKE & SMOKE, WE RAGAZZI
(Dante's, 1 SW 3rd) We Ragazzi--a Brooklyn-by-way-of-Chicago trio grafting no-wave skronk to garage-blues grit (think Blonde Redhead meets the Make-Up)--has been at it since the late '90s. But their killer new album, Wolves with Pretty Lips, is the most focused, urgent, and alive album they've made thus far. MICHAEL ALAN GOLDBERG



OLYMPIAN SHADOW FARM CD RELEASE: FIERY CUBIST, GLANCE FAILED, MERRICK FOUNDATION, BILL REAGAN, ZETH LUNDY
(I.C. Mummy, 332 NE San Rafael) Olympian Shadow Farm is committed to creating music that "becomes an intrinsic part of your life, not simply the background noise." A handful of bands are playing in celebratory promotion of OSF's quarterly CD release, all stylistically different from one another but united in an aptitude for audience engagement. Glance Failed play sweeping, drown-out guitar rock; Fiery Cubist features angular, choppy noise-rock and bluesy yelping reminiscent of a less challenging DNA. A mostly guitar-driven night. EJ



SANDRA COLLINS W/THE SEXY KREW
(Level, 13 NW 6th) Just a good ol' fashioned total legend of the electronica world to brighten your dancin' days. Collins was one of the first female DJs to get huge in a musical world dominated by manly men. And she just keeps getting better. Her newest album, Perfecto Presents: Sandra Collins (on Paul Oakenfold's Thrive label), is her most sophisticated work yet, an addictive blend of bumpin' beats and complex atmospheric psych. JUSTIN WESCOAT SANDERS



THE HANGMEN, FIREBALLS OF FREEDOM, SK AND THE PUNKASS BITCHES, GODDAMN GENTLEMEN
(Sabala's, 4811 SE Hawthorne) Sabala's Mt. Tabor is bringing good old rock and roll back to PortlandÉ example 100: The Hangmen. A dirty, raw, rock band from L.A. that's been kicking around for over a decade, the Hangmen have burnt out and now, come back, with a new album, Loteria (on Acetate Records). Celebrate their return. KS



JOEY MAZZOLA, FLAV, LEONETTI, AUSTIN BRADLEY, JOSH BANKS, JADEN, DJ TIMMY, ANDREW GONZALES
(Ohm, 31 NW 1st) Josh Banks, one of Portland's finest, is all over the place--Cobalt, Level, Ohm, and more. He's the Major League closer of the Portland DJ world, the hard-edged, tough, mustachioed, mop-up guy you can always rely on to come in during the later innings and get the job done. JWS



TECH N9NE, SKATTERMAN, SNUG BRIM, BG BULLETWOUND, KUTT CALHOUN, BIG KRIZZ KALIKO, COOL NUTZ & MANIAK LOK, THE GOON SQWAD, POTLUCK, DJ CHILL
(Roseland, 8 NW 6th) With his drum-roll cadence, Tech N9ne possesses an onstage electricity that few rap acts equal. From his hometown of Kansas City, his shows fill high-profile venues and his albums set sales records. Last year, in a series of stark, effective commercials on MTV, Tech--with "FTI" (for {Free the Industry") scrawled across his forehead--urged viewers to visit his website (therealtech9ne.com) and download his entire Absolute Power album for free. Tech also re-released AngHellic, his 2001 collection of futuristic tunes dealing with death, debauchery, and deliverance, with bonus tracks, including one called "FTI." "Absolute power means moving this sea of people and feeling a surge," Tech explains. ANDREW MILLER



MARCH FORTH PARADE
(St Andrew's Episcopal, 2036 SE Jefferson) As part of all the many, many chaotic and crafty activities planned for the Alberta Street Art Hop, the March Forth marching band is taking it once more to the streets. What is it about marching bands that is so damn thrilling? Seriously, they make my eyes well up with excitement just from thinking about being near the drums. And the best thing about March Forth is that they are not starchy or military, but ragtag and raucous, which is perfect for Portland. Show some school spirit. MS



SUNDAY 5/16

ZEBRAHEAD, 800 OCTANE
(Paris, 6 SW 3rd) Zebrahead is smart to play an all ages venue because their super amped pop punk is the reason stage dives and mosh pits were invented. These guys run with the big boys, like Blink and Limp, but they're more lovable because they're less annoying. KS



TOM MCNALLEY TRIO, RICHARD MELTZER
(Disjecta, 116 NE Russell) Tom McNalley Trio's CD release, which features McNalley himself coming with the hellfire on guitar, a dervish of drums in fairly gnarly free-but-not-smooth jazz interactive. For what it's worth, opener Richard Meltzer wrote the liner notes, compared McNalley to Hendrix. JS



OREGON SYMPHONY: MAHLER'S RESURRECTION
(Schnitzer, 1001 SW Broadway) Gustav Mahler is an Austrian composer associated with the late-romantic period of European art, a period characterized by an unprecedented obsession with the decadence and anemic languor of Western civilization. Mahler himself was exposed to death early; his works are renowned for their emotional intensity and thematic reflections on a growing intimacy with the ephemerality of human existence. Mahler frequently referred to this piece as reflecting his whole life's experience and suffering. It explores memory, confusion, alienation, apocalypse, and rebirth, with a finale that reintroduces an ecstatic engagement with life. EVAN "GENIUS" JAMES



ERIN MCKEOWN, TEITUR
(Crystal, 1332 W Burnside) Erin McKeown's upbeat and poppy folk mutations occasionally wander into the dynamism of spoken-word poetry. Beautifully confident music. Sonically gentle but certainly far from boring, Teitur lyrically explores themes of interpersonal relationships and personal psychology. Both musicians showcase an amazingly memorable sense for melody. EJ



MONDAY 5/17

FRENCH KICKS, JOGGERS, ON THE SPEAKERS
(Berbati's, 231 SW Ankeny) The French Kicks meld pop, guitar rock, and soul into something sort of mellow, minimal, and futuristic. This band has been on the "one to watch" list for a while now, so it goes without saying--they're one to watch. More exciting, though, is the resurrection of the Joggers, my favorite Portland band, so full of harmony and good cheer they're a natural kick off to summer. They're like a trip to the Cinco de Mayo fest, for one-fourth of the money. KS



OZOMATLI, GO BETTY GO
(Roseland, 8 NW 6th) Following up the well publicized arrest of two members and their manager at SXSW (for an iffy, selectively enforced violation of a noise ordinance during a conga line, of all things), Ozomatli prepares to release Street Signs, their first album since Embrace the Chaos--fatefully dropped on 9/11/01. The six-piece, multiculti ensemble has added a Middle Eastern influence to their traditional hiphop and Afro-Latin beats, further proving that global culture in the 21st Century means maximum hybridity. Their live show, I might add, is great. JS



TUESDAY 5/18

METAL CHURCH, POPEWYRM
(Dante's, 1 SW 3rd) Metal Church are so old school they come from an era when it was still cool to have the word "metal" in your metal band's name. They still thrash pretty good for a bunch of fogies, though. Don't miss openers Popewyrm, a local band that's been around long enough to have their shit together. They'll get their serious thrash on, as well. JWS



THE THERMALS, THE SCHANDE, MOONPONY
(Berbati's, 231 SW Ankeny) See Music pg 17



WEDNESDAY 5/19

JOHN MAYALL & THE BLUESBREAKERS, LEFT HAND SMOKE
(Aladdin, 3017 SE Milwaukie) John Mayall! Okay, I know lots of folks NOW deride any and all strict blues aspects of ROCK... it can get a little "bar" band-ish, I understand, but Mayall was a ground-breaker (dodgy pun intended, THANKS) and he's still got it, and the man is 70 years the fuck old! Like, he is a piece in the puzzle of OUR rock 'n' roll history... in fact, HUNDREDS, okay, not hundreds, but a handful of them who'd become ROCK GODS passed through his group. And all the while he held true his singular, narrow visionplay them blues and play, 'em RIGHT! MIKE NIPPER



THE DISTILLERS, VENDETTA RED, DARKER MY LOVE
(Crystal, 1332 W Burnside) I'm still of the opinion that the Distillers' Brody Dalle has one of the fiercest female roars in rock. As Courtney Love becomes a mockery of a once-powerful punk icon, Dalle holds her own on record after record, only getting stronger over time--and the same is true for her band. My one complaint, sadly, is that the Distillers never sound as tight on tour as they do in the studio, and having seen the band nearly every time they've come through town, I'm still waiting for that one show to knock me on my ass as much as Sing Sing Death House and Coral Fang have on a CD player. Hopefully constant touring will have changed that fact for the better this time around. JM



FASHION/ART/BANDS STARRING RHYTHM OF 84, LOVELY, THE KILL ME, THE PUNK GROUP
(Meow Meow, 320 SE 2nd) It's almost like you can't have a fashion show without a punk band up in this piece. Tonight, includes local punk iconoclasts Rhythm of 84 and the buttrockin' spectacle Lovely. JS