THURSDAY 12/9

JOSEPH ARTHUR, JOAN AS POLICE WOMAN
(Doug Fir Lounge, 830 E Burnside) See Music, Pg 12



JELLO BIAFRA
(Bossanova, 722 E Burnside) Love him or (like most civil minded people) loath him, seemingly no amount of personal or financial set-back will ever stop Jello "relentless as a cockroach" Biafra. The Dead Kennedys have turned on him, and his endless spoken word albums won't even sell to the Che Guevara poster set anymore--yet for whatever reason, a big part of me will always root for Jello. At his best, Biafra was a painfully charismatic frontman for one of America's most influential punk bands--vehemently battling the forces of censorship that eventually crippled the Dead Kennedys. At his worst, Biafra is a balding blowhard seconds away from pushing 50, as much of a cultural relic as the hippies he used to rail so passionately against. It's a sad but true omen for the rest of us: limp dogma and liberal sloganeering just sound a lot better from the mouths of spotty, malnourished 20-somethings. ZAC PENNINGTON



EARLIMART, BLUES GOBLIN, INVISIBLE
(Berbati's Pan, 10 SW 3rd) After hearing Earlimart's latest Palm Pictures joint, Treble and Tremble, it's hard to remember why they were ever called "rock." Sad-sack songs about love gone bad and death (of longtime friend Elliott Smith) are cloaked in cheery pop choruses, Beach Boys avantisms, and wispy folk guitar. LA-bred singer Aaron Espinoza seems like he's figured himself out and, more so, figured out what kinda art he wants to make--haunted, Mellow Gold-y, Californicated pop. ADAM GNADE



HOTT PINK, AZMOTRONIK, FULL CONTACT BOTANY, DJ SHARON NEEDLES
(Nocturnal, 1800 E Burnside) This show doubles as the IsDiff records holiday dance party and the sendoff show for Azmotronik and one half of Hott Pink, Jef Drawbaugh, aka Dizzystarhouse; those crazy electro kids are headed over to Germany to spread the laptop love. While Azmotronik ably creates dancey, blooping beats on his G4, the real attraction of this show is the inimitable Hott Pink. Jef and his partner Jonas Rake lay down some of the most ass-shaking beats in Portland, and they dance, dress up, and drink beer on stage to boot. The last time I saw them, they wore matching polo shirts and enough hair grease to coat the outside of Nocturnal. Could this be the death of the dull laptop DJ, and the birth of electro-performance? CORTNEY HARDING



NUCLEAR WINTER FORMAL FEATURING PORTLAND BIKE ENSEMBLE, CICADA
(Holocene, 1001 SE Morrison) See My, What A Busy Week! Pg 11



RED ELVISES
(Dante's, 1 SW 3rd) From Siberia via L.A., the Red Elvises have a kind of enthusiasm for American rock 'n' roll that most Americans don't even have anymore. Playing a sort of beer bar rockabilly, the Elvises are fond of encouraging women to shake their bits onstage, and their good-natured humor is quite endearing. Still there's something about having the disgusting, fey decadence of one aspect of your culture reflected back at you through the glee of someone from Siberia that's a little too Balky-ish. Like we're so fat that we don't know whether we even like eating. But if you like your rock stars with extra smiling and old-fashioned rock star stage attire, you'll be onstage doing the bounce in no time. MARJORIE SKINNER



BOB SCHNEIDER, VELABONZ, GRAM RABBIT, ASLYN
(Aladdin Theater, 3017 SE Milwaukie) The job description "singer/songwriter who appears on the soundtracks to Sandra Bullock films" conjures images of an over-earnest sap dispenser. But Bob Schneider, who gets to walk on the "accessory to a romantic comedy" charge because he was once Bullock's beau, isn't a bland balladeer. The Austin-based wild card ranges from folk to rap to rugged rock to operatic experimentation, turning his diverse CD collection into sprawling setlists. On gritty tracks from his latest disc I'm Good Now, Schneider brags that his dick "weighs a pound," and that he quit heroin cold turkey, macho rock-star behavior that could more than compensate for any contribution to 2005's Miss Congeniality 2: Armed and Fabulous. ANDREW MILLER



SHAPESHIFTERS, LA JAE, PIGEON JOHN
(Meow Meow, 320 SE 2nd Ave) L.A.'s underground hiphop kings the ShapeShifters (Akuma, Awol One, Circus, Die, Existereo, Life Rexall, Radioinactive and DJ LA Jae) make b-boy theme music for the new millennium. True to their name, their divergent, often bugged perspectives are all over the map, and delivered with wit, intelligence, and soulÉ much like their opener--Quannum Projects' newest signer, and Good Life Cafe vet, Pigeon John--they don't take themselves too seriously, which is saying a lot in the underground hiphop sphere. LARRY MIZELL, JR.



FRIDAY 12/10

AS HOPE DIES, WITH PASSION, SHRINE OF SCARS, A TASTE FOR MURDER, THE HORDEL
(Davey Jone's Locker, 5925 SE Foster) Despite its nihilistic name, As Hope Dies gives its followers cause for optimism. Last fall, the California-centered crew called it quits, citing the trials and tribulations of touring. The metal masses mourned the premature passing of a promising group that blended black-metal precision with pummeling percussion. Never again, it seemed, would the world hear David Richardson's severed-larynx screech, or the dual guitarists' Maiden-heaven melodies, or devastating double-kick drumblasts. But like a flesh-ripping dog resurrected in a pet cemetery, As Hope Dies returned with renewed savagery a year after its apparent demise. AM



E-40, MANIAC LOK & DJ CHILL, POTLUCK, SOUTH CLICC, KANE
(Roseland, 8 NW 6th) Bay Area hiphop legend E-40 makes another quick jaunt North for an evening with the extended Jus Family crew. A major presence in West Coast hiphop since the early '90s heyday, E-40 has managed to stay just outside the national spotlight over his lengthy discography--maintaining an uniquely compelling (if overwhelmingly misogynistic) talent without sacrificing is (questionable) integrity. ZP



GRAILS, DOLOREAN, WOW AND FLUTTER
(Holocene, 1001 SE Morrison) See My, What a Busy Week! Pg 11 CD Review, Pg 12



ROCK AND ROLL CAMP FOR GIRLS BENEFIT FEATURING DAVIES VS. DRESCH, LKN, THE READY
(Doug Fir Lounge, 830 E Burnside) The organizers of the Rock n' Roll Camp For Girls are doing a neat fundraiser in which they hope, during the month of December, to land 50 benefit shows in all 50 states. Tonight's show--featuring the latest band from Queercore figurehead Donna Dresch--is Oregon's contribution, though it's not like Portland has ever been short on RRCFG benefits. If you really want to help, go to this show, but then fly your band on down to the Bible Belt and get a concert going. According to the map at www.girlsrockcamp.org , no other states are booked yet. JUSTIN WESCOAT SANDERS



THANKSGIVING, JOHN HENRY MEMORIAL
(Loveland, 320 SE 2nd Ave) Adrian Orange has been on tour in support of his Welcome Nowhere record for what feels like years now, but Portland's prodigal son returns tonight for a late-night show at Loveland. Having spent the better part of Summer and Fall gallivanting across America and Europe, Thanksgiving is also set to release about three dozen more records in the coming months (via Marriage, the label Orange co-helms), proving that there really is something to be said for that whole "youthful vigor" bit. ZP



TRACKER AND CRAIG THOMPSON, MENOMENA, WET CONFETTI
(Nocturnal, 1800 E Burnside) Unless you have just immigrated here from the Ukraine, you know who Menomena and Wet Confetti are. However, if it's been a while, reasons have accumulated for why you should give it another go. Wet Confetti's new-ish release, This is So Illegal, hones in on a more developed sound for the band. Understandably, without seeing the sweat pouring out of drummer Mike McKinnon's forehead pores while he thrashes wildly, it's just not the same. Also, rumor has it Menomena will be previewing four new songs off their next record. JENNA ROADMAN



MATT McCORMICK FILM SCREENING FEATURING JAMES MERCER
(Whitsell Auditorium, 1219 SW Park Ave) See My, What a Busy Week! Pg 11



WEAKERTHANS, THE ARCADE FIRE, MURDER BY DEATH, FEMBOTS
(Bossanova, 722 E Burnside) See Music, Pg 12



SATURDAY 12/11

IRON AND WINE, SAM JAYNE
(Meow Meow, 320 SE 2nd Ave) See My, What a Busy Week! Pg 11



JACOB FRED JAZZ ODYSSEY
(Goodfoot, 2845 SE Stark) For a decade, Jacob Fred Jazz Odyssey have taken the organ-trio lineup and groove obsession to the unhygienic (and lucrative) realms of jam-band land. Like Medeski, Martin & Wood, the Tulsa, Oklahoma trio invest lots of unpredictable twists and turns into their skewed funk and shape-shifting improvisations, occasionally messing with your sinuous hippie-dance moves. But on the new Walking with Giants (on Hyena, with a bonus live DVD), pianist Brian Haas, drummer Jason Smart, and bassist Reed Mathis pay their respects to the Mingus/Monk/Tyner/Dolphy tradition of brainy bop and post-bop. Here they prove that reverence for the past doesn't have to sound stodgy--that it can, in fact, sound dynamic and vital. DAVE SEGAL



MINI-KISS, KARAOKE FROM HELL, STOVOKOR
(Dante's, 1 SW 3rd) It's the season for midgets as it is--they're on every holiday commercial playing elves--so it's fitting Mini-Kiss should tour. Unfortunately, like the little people on the Cingular and the payday loans commercials, Mini-Kiss are just playing a part. They don't shred their instruments, they lip-synch instead of sing, and they're just basically a spectacle of midgets jumping around in clown makeup pretending to be Kiss. I don't know about you, but if I really want to see a midget, I'd rather save my money and turn on the tube. KATIE SHIMER



NURSE WITH WOUND, COLIN POTTER, MATT WALDRON
(Doug Fir Lounge, 830 E Burnside) See Music, Pg 15



STRUNG OUT, HASTE THE DAY, ONLY CRIME, A WILHELM SCREAM
(Bossanova, 722 E Burnside) Poor Strung Out--long dismissed to the irrelevant-pop-punk-for-teens shelf in most adultish brains. Do they deserve it? Yes and no. Dudes brought it on themselves for sticking to a kiddie-Pennywise schtick for the last 13 years. And lyrics like "I won't survive you now/ I wish I never knew you/ your name is Kaaaatatonia!" from their new one, Exile in Oblivion, don't help. But they try; Exile's jazz intro is a good step, so are the metalhead freak-outs tweaking up the breaks and bridges. But it's no use--Strung Out is eternally 14. Which brings up another question. Strung out on what?! Mountain Dew? Chocolate milk? AG



SUNDAY 12/12

LIARS ACADEMY, THE BEAUTIFUL MISTAKE, NAME TAKEN, ANADIVINE
(Meow Meow, 320 SE 2nd Ave) Liars Academy are so emo that they're almost a country band, and while you might not get your dog, your girl, or your flat stomach back if you play their albums backwards, it's probably just as easy to poke fun at their woe-is-me-posturing and sparsely attended shows. So go ahead, shit-talk that. Their latest, Demons, is essentially the Replacements played by a bunch of hopeless underdogs and while, okay, that is sort of an oxymoron, you'd have to really try and deny that lead songwriter Ryan Shelkett doesn't occasionally write one great tune at least every couple records. Sadly, the Beautiful Mistake are the ones who will actually sound like they're complaining. Anadivine will probably be wearing mascara. TREVOR KELLEY



JACK: QUEER AS FUCK FEATURING SCREAM CLUB
(Doug Fir Lounge, 830 E Burnside) There's probably a million reasons that you think you hate Scream Club. Dyke hiphop. Made by a punk couple. From Olympia. And despite the fact that they probably carry your mind's burden all of the terrible, irony-based hiphop groups in the punk underground, Scream Club will still defy your expectations. Why? Well, because they're actually quite good. Talented, funny, and (here's the clincher) admirably earnest, Scream Club break with the potential clichés of their trappings--and have crafted an honestly great record, Don't Bite Your Sister, to prove it. ZP



SLAYER, MASTODAN, KILLSWITCH ENGAGE, NORTHWEST ROYALE
(Roseland, 8 NW 6th) Atlanta quartet Mastodon's dizzying second full-length, Leviathan (Relapse) has spent the last few months getting jizzed on by music journalists around the world, and is currently racking up top-five accolades in every publication with a year-end metal list and a modicum of taste. In support of the album, have spent the better part of 2004 holding down opening slots for bands like Dillinger Escape Plan, Fear Factory, and "the almighty" Slayer. With their vertiginous riffery, scorched-earth vocals, and Dailor's show-stopping power-skins, Mastodon have even managed to avoid the onset of Opening for Slayer Syndrome, in which opening acts are treated to upwards of 2,000 middle fingers, synchronized chants of "You suck!" and/or Nazi-rally styled demands for the headliners. J. BENNETT See also Music Bio, Pg 22



TART FIRST ANNIVERSARY FEATURING DJ K-TELL AND DJ HARMONY
(Holocene, 1001 SE Morrison) See My, What a Busy Week! Pg 11



KEN VANDERMARK, PAUL RUTHERFORD, TORSTEN MULLER, DYLAN VAN DER SCHYFF
(Community Music Center, 3350 SE Francis) Remarkable Chicago-based saxophonist/clarinetist Ken Vandermark fronts an all-star quartet with Paul Rutherford (trombone), Torsten Müller (bass), and Dylan van der Schyff (drums). Keep your ears open for the virtuosic Rutherford, who, with Derek Bailey, Evan Parker, and Tony Oxley, helped pioneer freely improvised music back in the late 1960s. CHRISTOPHER DELAURENTI



MONDAY 12/13

MODEST MOUSE
(Crystal Ballroom, 1332 W Burnside) Nissan commercials. Saturday Night Live. Four consecutive nights at the Crystal. Shit talk all you want--'cuz Modest Mouse can fucking buy and sell you. ZP



TUESDAY 12/14

SCIENCE OF YABRA, HUSTLER WHITE, NEW THRILL PARADE, SICKIE SICKIE
(Porky's, 835 N Lombard) Correct me if I'm wrong, but are Hustler White almost beginning to feel like the last of a dying breed here in Portland? That of the straightforward, dissonant house show punk ensemble? I don't know, maybe I'm just not listening so hard anymore--but I feel like I'm hearing a lot less of the stuttered guitar, squelched keyboard, and ramshackled howl from the basements about town. Could the end be near? Not likely. But for the sake of instilling some additional urgency to the already brimming Hustlers, perhaps we should seize the day before it's too late. ZP



WEDNESDAY 12/15

THE GAYS, LOVELY
(Ash Street, 225 SW Ash) Hard-rocking, seemingly ironic Portland band The Gays pair up with local gyrating glam rockers Lovely for a night of music that would make Axl Rose proud. Actually, come to think of it, Axl hates the gaysÉ anyway, fans of theatrical cock rock and technical virtuosity, this is your night. KS



CORRINA REPP CD RELEASE, RIDDENPAA, CHROME BECOMES HER, DJ DICKEL
(Berbati's Pan, 10 SW 3rd) On her new album It's Only the Future (Hush), Repp forsakes vocal diversity, and uses her husky croon like a rhythm tool, whispering over gently repetitive instrumentals in what amounts to the most beautiful drone you'll ever hear. Listening to it is like lying on a boat that is barely rocking atop a gentle, warm sea. Bring your lifejacket to the show; it can double as a pillow. JWS



THE PLANET THE, POINT LINE PLANE, THE PUNKS
(Doug Fir Lounge, 830 E Burnside) The epic thrash and rock god wailing of Point Line Plane are solid (and their latest album/new status as a trio sounds like healthy evolution), and a show hooked up with them and their cronies in The Planet The is a known and trusted commodity around here. No, the real wild card is The Punks, main man of popular record label Kill Rock Stars Slim Moon's endlessly rotating free jazz band. Love it or hate it, it's a rare chance to see it. MS



SEVEN FINGERED PHARAOH
(Kelly's Olympian, 426 SW Washington) If, upon your death, you happen to find yourself in the elevator going down, you will no doubt be privy to the not too loud (but sufficiently sinister) sounds of Seven Fingered Pharaoh. Not to be confused with Quiet Riot, the Pharaoh is no louder than a boom box, earning the honor of being perhaps the only "elevator metal" band in existence. With very small amps, very big hair, and a howling hellion of a singer named, appropriately, "The Octivator", they distill metal to its purest and most preposterous essence. KIP BERMAN