the prids The Artistery, 5/20

THURSDAY 5/18

THE BELLRAYS, I CAN LICK ANY SOB IN THE HOUSE, THE DIVINING RODS, SUGAR FARM

(Dante's, 1 SW 3rd) Watching a BellRays show makes you feel like you've been fortunate enough to stumble into a parallel universe where Tina Turner never got the shit kicked out of her and James Brown never got old. Frontwoman Lisa Kekaula testifies to the power of the blues like a high priestess and her sex appeal is simply through the roof. HANNAH LEVIN

OREGON ARTIFICIAL LIMB CO., CEX FUCX

(Valentine's, 232 SW Ankeny) Tonight is Mark Kaylor's birthday and since he plays in both these bands let's have him tell us what's up. Says Mark, "the Oregon Artificial Limb Company (also known as Birthdays) consists of some of the most creative and genius musicians I've played with. Me and Kelvin and JP have been improvising together for years and Bob is AMAZING on the upright bass. Cex Fucx originated as a party band at the 411 space. The lineup originally consisted of myself, Kelvin Pittman on keys, JP on guitar, Shane on bass, Gabe (Yellow Swans), and Eva (of Inca Ore, Alarmist) on vocals. We only played parties and have played under various lineups that always have myself/JP/Shane as the core. It's improvised but directed at groovy/calypso/Fela Kuti/funk whatever, ya dig?" AG

LANCE GIRDER MUZIK

(Imbibe, 229 SE Hawthorne) Local b-b-baller Lance Girder sings with the Oregon Symphony, Oregon Ballet Theater, Portland Opera, and MarchFourth Marching Band but now he's bringing his pals in and making some beauteous slow-core solo music! (Think Elliott Smith and then think for yourself and come up with something better to compare it to.) Ocelli is the record, and tonight's the CD release party, wherein Lance will be backed by a bevy of the folks from the aforementioned groups. GRANT MORRIS

BARK, HIDE AND HORN, PENTECOST HOTEL

(Acme, 1305 SE 8th) See Music, pg. 25.

THE FEVER, THE SNUGGLE UPS, LA COSA NOSTRA, THE GENTRY

(Berbati's, 10 SW 3rd) The Fever have pulled up their dance-punk roots and plunked down in the cracked cement earth of a decaying seaside amusement park. Their new album, In the City of Sleep, has a standard rock 'n' roll foundation, but shakes it up with creepy carnival accompaniment, videogame keyboards, junkyard percussion, and whirling surf guitar. Singer Geremy Jasper sounds best when he's hiccupping she-bop-aloop-she-bop style, spinning lyrical vignettes of carnie dystopias and bad news girls who may or may not be gypsies, but undoubtedly drag hearts on fish hooks through back alley filth for kicks. We're hoping for an onstage rock 'n' roll revival: band members crashing to their knees from exhaustion, pianos busted open like boxers' jaws, and a red-faced congregation so soaked with sweat that the moisture in the room bubbles the paint on the walls and sends it to the floor in big, sticky flakes. JESSIE DUQUETTE

DRATS!!!, SOUNDS LIKE FUN, JUNIOR PRIVATE DETECTIVE

(Doug Fir, 830 E Burnside) Fronted by four singers—the awesomely named Chairman, Yoon, Maddog, and... uh, Chad—Portland's Drats!!! kicks out experimental punk jams that roll somewhere between Zappa's poppier work, the Dictators, and Cheap Trick. And check this: The band is currently working on Welcome to New Grenada, a "rock operetta" based on Over the Edge, a teen rebel flick that helped turn Matt Dillon into an international heartthrob. GM

LYRICS BORN, EDAN, DAGHA

(Crystal Ballroom, 1332 W Burnside) See Music, pg. 25.

FRIDAY 5/19

DJ VADIM'S ONE SELF W/YARAH BRAVO AND BLU RUM13, AMMONCONTACT, DJ JUGOE, ALTER ECHO

(Holocene, 1001 SE Morrison) One Self finds Anglo-Russian producer Vadim Peare letting some light and tunefulness into the usually tenebrous, paranoiac experimental hiphop tracks he records as DJ Vadim, the Isolationist, and Andre Gurov. His 2005 debut album with Swedish Brazilian vocalist Yarah Bravo and American emcee Blu Rum 13, Children of Possibility (Ninja Tune), peddles positivist, proletariat-boosting jams that aim to rock and organize the (labor) party. Vadim's expanded his palette to embrace more festive Latin and Caribbean rhythms and percussion, but there's residual darkness lurking around the smoother edges of Vadim's meticulously sculpted, sublimely moody beatscapes. It's a salubrious progression for one of the most underrated producers in the game. DAVE SEGAL

PDX METAL FEST

(720 Club, 720 SE Hawthorne) Sometimes the words stand on their own. The PDX Metal Fest brings together Belial, Among the Decayed, Eulogy, Panzer God, Deathsaw, Ceremonial Castings, Necryptic, Maralgia, Mucas Membrain, the New Plague, Truculence, Desolation, Devour, Extirpatients, and World of Lies... and... just read those names again. That's all you need. Go get your dose of extreme and I'm not talkin' Mountain Dew, fast cars, Vin Diesel extreme. More like, noise pain death grind kill kill kill—the best extreme of them all. AG

GEORGE CLINTON AND THE PARLIAMENT FUNKADELIC

(Crystal Ballroom, 1332 W Burnside) Whoa, ho ho! George Clinton, you are a nutter! You're a loon! A cuckoo bird! A wackadoodle! You're bonkers. You're the most dippy, flipped-out, unzipped, haywire dude I have ever seen grace a stage! And, bro, I love you for it. (High five. SsssMACK!) Funk on its own... not so awesome. Psychedelic music on its own... totally hit or miss. (More "miss" than anything.) But stick 'em together like GC does and you've got a party the likes of which only exists in terribly good '80s movies. Such a party in fact that we'll forgive white America for bastardizing all homey's hits and turning them into corporate sales pitches and wedding anthems. GM

GEORGE CLINTON CD SIGNING

(Music Millennium East, 3158 E Burnside) See above.

EXCEPTER, OCRILIM/OCTIS, THE PUNKS, THE BETTER TO SEE YOU WITH

(Towne Lounge, 714 SW 20th Pl) See Music, pg. 27.

THE PROM! FEATURING THE NICE BOYS, THE SODA POP KIDS, THE CUTS, AVENUE ROSE

(Hawthorne Theatre, 1507 SE 39th) A wet dream come true! Nothing could be better than a gangbang with the Boys and the Kids (though Ma says it's always better to fuck outtatowners like Avenue Rose from Oly and the Cuts outta Seattle). This is the frothiest show of the infant summer, and it's an honest-to-goodness PROM! Perfectly punk power-pop in a shall-we-say Johnny Thunders vein (haha), every precious band in this lineup is danceable as hell. Lots of foxy chicks get their panties in a bunch over 'em, and on this very special occasion, there'll be young blood on hand. Don't let the all ages deter you; the time to scope out the next generation of bar sluts is now. After-prom at my house! VIVA LAS VEGAS

DEALERS, TRACII GUNS, GLASS HEROES

(Ash Street Saloon, 225 SW Ash) Leather pants? Yes. Orgasmic solo-induced sneer? Absolutely. All-star credentials? Ridiculous. Founding member of LA Guns and Guns N' Roses; played with W.A.S.P., Misfits, Brides of Destruction, Poison, Faster Pussycat, Contraband, and Bang Gang. No joke folks, Tracii Guns is the real deal, the most advanced prototype of the Los Angeles sleaze metal model. Some of you are snickering. But consider this: Tracii's been grinding a six-string since the Carter Administration. He put together LA Guns before some of you were cognizant enough to use a spoon, much less buy a guitar and start a folk-metal band. And he's still at it, adapting to the changing surroundings like a sonic chameleon, reflecting society's expectations of a rock 'n' roll outlaw. He's been around, his band's got its act together; they play tight songs executed in fine style. Expect big guitars and 250-watt riffs. Drinking heals bleeding eardrums. Tip your bartender. THADDEUS CHRISTIAN

SATURDAY 5/20

BENEFIT FOR SHAC7 W/THE PRIDS, THE ONLINE ROMANCE, CADENCE

(The Artistery, 4315 SE Division) What's a "prid," anyway? What a measly, insignificant-sounding word. What a speed bump of a name. And what a great band! Totally, yo. The local band's CD Until the World Is Beautiful is indiepop the way it's supposed to be: catchy, sexy (blame the band's new wave riffs for this), and authentically heartfelt sounding. Tonight's a benefit for Josh Harper, a defendant in the Shac7 trial, in which a group of folks were convicted of "advocating the closure of the notorious animal-testing lab Huntingdon Life Sciences." Fuck's that mean?! Find out: shac7.com GM

RAMP, M-SO, SAPPHO, SEÑOR FRIO, SCIFISOL, DJ PARKLIFE

(Holocene, 1001 SE Morrison) Holocene's launching a new club night. Says organizer Carlo Pearson, "I just felt like there was the need for a recurring club night that would feature local electronic producers and DJs, much in the vein of the Laptop Lounge. It would be an opportunity for these producers to play their music out at a great venue. It's a great opportunity for Portlanders to hang out and listen/dance to this great music that's being produced locally." AG

31KNOTS, PSUEDOSIX, PORTUGAL. THE MAN

(Doug Fir, 830 E Burnside) See It's Who You Know, pg. 35.

SUNDAY 5/21

JOHN RAMBO, ROMAN GABRIEL TODD'S BEAST RISING UP OUT OF THE SEA, JACUZZI BROS.

(Dunes, 1909 MLK) Roman Gabriel Todd and Benny McCullough are the core of Mobile, Alabama's Roman Gabriel Todd's Beast Rising Up Out of the Sea. Theirs is a heavy, zany sound, like Frank Zappa fronting Clutch. According to their bio, their record label "RGT had a band called Supreme Dispassion from May 2000 to October 2003. It was full-on blasphemous. The plan for a blasphemous bass and drums duo came in 2004. It would be loud and there would be a gong." Beautiful. JASON PEARSON

MONDAY 5/22

NUT BROWN, TELOMERE REPAIR, CONCORDIA, DJ NATE C

(Tube, 13 NW 3rd) Telomere Repair are from Long Beach but they sound neither—in any way, shape, or form—like Snoop or Sublime. They also don't sound Southern Californian, beachy, O.C.-ready, friendly, tan, healthy... anything the LBC is oft associated with. Rather their newish six-song EP is greasy, stormy, and full of bruised egos, frayed nerves, and tricks divined from old Gravity Records releases and Black Flag B-sides. AG

MARCHFOURTH MARCHING BAND, SOLOVOX

(Doug Fir, 830 E Burnside) It's cool as shit to see local bands blow the EFF up and go places you never imagined they would. MarchFourth is about to bust ass out to Germany, bringing all 37 members along for a series of mega-huge dates tied to the 2006 World Cup. This is seriously one of those moments where you see a group about to become world-famous, household-name big. Once the rest of the world sees these kids in action, ginormous things are gonna happen. For now, let's bask in the calm before the storm and support one of Portland's bestest. GM

TUESDAY 5/23

SYSTEM AND STATION, KIESKAGATO, SOUTHERLY, LEVIATHAN

(Dante's, 1 SW 3rd) Portland (by way of Boise) indierockers System and Station take old-school emo (Shiner, Jehu) from back when the genre was still respectable, and smarten it up with modern indiepop changes and just enough prog instrumentation to please the guitar and studio geeks. Made up of RFK Heise (voice, keyboards, guitar), Palmer Cloud (guitar, keyboards, best name ever), Mark Mattrey (bass), and Adam Draper (drums, percussion), the band dropped the insanely good In the Twilight last year on Crustacean Records. JP

AFROMAN, THE SEASAME STREET GANGSTERS, J-KRONIC

(Rock n Roll Pizza, 11140 SE Powell) Argh! No! Ugh! Aaagh! Try as I might, I can't do justice to the epicness of Afroman's all holy single "Because I Got High." So, let's allow the man himself to speak to the congregation: "I was gonna make love to you but then I got high/I was gonna eat yo pussy too but then I got high/now I'm jacking off and I know why/cause I got high/I messed up my entire life because I got high/I lost my kids and wife because I got high/now I'm sleeping on the sidewalk and I know why cause I got high/I'm gonna stop singing this song because I'm high/I'm singing this whole thing wrong because I'm high/and if I don't sell one copy I know why/cause I'm high." Genius! Genius! Holy crrrap! Amazing! Hercules! Hercules! Hercules! GRANT MORRIS

WATUSI ZOMBIE, THE KING COBRA, LIKEBANA, KASTRATION

(Food Hole, 20 NW 3rd) On last year's Buddha Mask Experience, Japan's Watusi Zombie dropped pure Southern rock boogie gone acid-head Hawkwind shakedown. Members Jugem, Anri, and Meguru sound like the Roadhouse soundtrack if it didn't suck, and like Skynyrd if they didn't 79.7 percent suck, and like Hole if Courtney Love was a punk-as-fuck Osaka kid that grew up on the Boredoms but wanted to create something funkier. AG

MERLE JAGGER, ASHBURY PARK, TEXECUTIONERS

(Sabala's, 4811 SE Hawthorne) Possessing one of the most rock 'n' roll names in recent history, LA's Merle Jagger doesn't actually have anyone with either name in the band, but it sure sounds like they do. This may seem obvious—and it kind of is—but if you take Merle Haggard's dry, wise, tough-guy country and the Stones' sense of playful rock show campiness, you're pretty dead on with these guys. Bouncing through bluegrass, Buck Owens' pop Bakersfield sound, lap-steel shredding honky-tonk, and a wee bit of roadhouse rock, the band's new instrumental-only CD, Rancho Los Angeles, is pure, amped-up fun. JP

WEDNESDAY 5/24

COUNTRY TEASERS, THE HUNCHES, STARANTULA

(Berbati's, 10 SW 3rd) See My, What a Busy Week!, pg. 23.

GHOST TO FALCO, 2% MAJESTY, ARGUMENTIX

(Food Hole, 20 NW 3rd) Locals 2% Majesty make bare, stripped-down psyche folk based around guitar, voice, and violin. Where a lot of their peers hide behind shimmering walls of orchestration, 2% lets it all hang out and the result is refreshing, weird, and fun. And the fact that their music is still trippy as all get out is a testament to the merits of simplicity and working with what you've got. Check out 2% Majesty's relatively new—and totally good—seven-inch Color. JP

I LOVE YOU BUT I'VE CHOSEN DARKNESS, ROGERS SISTERS

(Doug Fir, 830 E Burnside) See My, What a Busy Week!, pg. 23.

LYING IN STATES, TOUGH AND LOVELY

(Towne Lounge, 714 SW 20th Pl) If you appreciate the bluesy swagger of Motown-inspired acts like the Detroit Cobras, but wish they brought something newer to the table, then you'll seriously dig the Tough and Lovely. Working with a foundation of old-school, gritty soul, these kids from Ohio add a deliciously unexpected layer of twang, giving their urban, bluesy tone a sense of rural romanticism. HL