Your last chance to fill your face with the finest of 2015's amateur smut is happening this weekend.


Jeremy Scahill
Jeremy Scahill is one of the editors at The Intercept, one of the internet's smartest, most daring news publications. Tonight, Scahill—who you also might remember from the damning documentary Dirty Wars—reads from his latest book, The Assassination Complex: Inside the Government's Secret Drone Warfare Program. It's gonna be fascinating. And horrifying. ERIK HENRIKSEN
Powell's Books at Cedar Hills Crossing, 3415 SW Cedar Hills, Beaverton, 7 pm, FREE

Bob Mould, Mike Krol
On Bob Mould's new album, Patch the Sky, the former Hüsker Dü and Sugar frontman continues his fierce late-career resurgence by harnessing angst and despair for some of the catchiest hooks he's ever penned. Be sure to wear earplugs—when Mould rocked David Letterman last year, dust literally fell from the rafters. CHIPP TERWILLIGER
Wonder Ballroom, 128 NE Russell, 8:30 pm, $22-25, all ages


The Siren Theater's improvised PowerPoint presentation show Speechless is back, with the best kind of organized chaos: a delightful lineup of funny Portlanders making up lectures on the spot—"TED Talk, startup pitch, even a self-help seminar" are all fair game—to accompany surprise slides and placate a team of judges, including our own Wm. Steven Humphrey! Next slide! MEGAN BURBANK
Siren Theater, 315 NW Davis, 8 pm, $12

Mean Jeans, Fire Retarded, Mister Tang
The Mean Jeans' post-Ramones party punk is as versatile and nourishing as pizza. It's good hot or cold, it's delicious with toppings or without, and it brings friends and family together. Celebrate the Portland band's latest slice, Tight New Dimension, at tonight's sure-to-be packed-to-the-gills release show. NED LANNAMANN
The Liquor Store, 3341 SE Belmont, 9 pm, $10-12


If you missed HUMP! 2015 (or want to relive all the porny glory), here's another chance to watch the sexiest, funniest, horniest show of the year—for one weekend only. With the HUMP! Tour you'll see the best five-minute locally made dirty flicks, alongside a squealing, clapping, sex-positive crowd. And if you've never experienced it? Now's the perfect opportunity! WM. STEVEN HUMPHREY
Cinema 21, 616 NW 21st, Fri 7:15 & 9:30 pm, Sat 6 & 8:15 pm, $20,

Erotic City
If you're still mourning Prince (and aren't we all), you won't want to miss Portland's premier Prince tribute band, Erotic City, as they perform a special memorial performance in honor of the late great artist. Expect a few tears... but also a joyous celebration of his music as well. WM. STEVEN HUMPHREY
The Spare Room, 4830 NE 42nd, 9:30 pm, $10

The Thermals, Summer Cannibals, Little Star
The Thermals are a local treasure. Nay, a national treasure. Their brand-new album, We Disappear, features our hometown trio of rockin' political punks, Hutch Harris, Kathy Foster, and Westin Glass. And no duh, it's great. What with local rockers Summer Cannibals opening, this show's guaranteed good times. COURTNEY FERGUSON
Wonder Ballroom, 128 NE Russell, 9 pm, $15, all ages


St. Johns Bizarre
St. Johns used to be Portland's quaint neighbor to the north. It's long since been subsumed, but the city's northernmost hood still puts on a street celebration that sets it apart from its southerly counterparts. This year's St. Johns Bizarre has a particularly killer music lineup, beer, tons of vendors, a chance to traipse down the former township's main drag unmolested by automobiles (after the parade, that is). DIRK VANDERHART
w/Quasi, Chanti Darling, Minden, & more; St. Johns (of course), 10 am-7 pm, FREE, all ages

WhiskeyTown USA
It's little surprise that WhiskeyTown USA is one of the more popular Portland drinking festivals, because... whiskey! And there's so much to see, taste, and experience with 200 whiskeys to choose from, live music, "chaser stations" (beer), cocktail competitions, classes taught by experts, and pig races?!? Seriously, how much more convincing do you need? WM. STEVEN HUMPHREY
Portland Night Market, 100 SE Alder, Fri 4-10 pm, Sat 11 am-10 pm, Sun noon-5 pm, $30 a day ($50 fest pass)


Sunday Parkways
Sunday Parkways are back! And this year, East Portland kicks off one of the city's most splendid traditions—where cars are booted from select streets for a day so that citizens might recall simpler times. This year's seven-mile East Portland route meanders through five city parks, with a bunch of activities at each. Two words: bouncy castle. DIRK VANDERHART
hit up @SundayParkways for route info, 11 am-4 pm, FREE, all ages

PDX Pop Now! Compilation Release Party
The PDX Pop Now! compilation is an annual reminder that we live in one of the best cities for music in the country. Tonight's all-ages celebration features sets by great local bands the Minders, Months, and Kulululu, and your ticket price includes a copy of the double-disc comp! NED LANNAMANN
Holocene, 1001 SE Morrison, 7 pm, $8-10, all ages


Gay Skate: Prince Tribute
Questlove's memoir, Mo' Meta Blues, has a jaw-dropping account of roller-skating with Prince. The Purple One arrived at the rink toting a mysterious briefcase containing "clear skates that lit up, and the wheels sent a multicolored spark trail... Man. He could skate like he could sing." Go jam in his honor at Gay Skate: Prince Tribute. COURTNEY FERGUSON
Oaks Park, 7805 SE Oaks Park, 7 pm, $6, all ages

The Long Goodbye
Not many movies are better than The Long Goodbye, Robert Altman's 1973 take on Raymond Chandler, starring an unforgettable Elliott Gould as Philip Marlowe. Equal parts funny and melancholy, it's worth seeing just for the scene where Gould talks to his cat—but luckily, every other scene is just as great. ERIK HENRIKSEN
Academy Theater, 7818 SE Stark, $4, 2:15pm, 9:20pm


National Geographic Live: The Search for Life Beyond Earth
Astrobiologist (yes, that's a real thing) Kevin Hand, based out of NASA's Jet Propulsion Laboratory in Pasadena, comes to the Newmark for a highly entertaining National Geographic presentation on the search for life beyond Earth. Strap in and prepare to have your mind blown by someone smarter than you. DOUG BROWN
Newmark Theatre, 1111 SW Broadway, 7:30 pm, $20-40, all ages